Week one of the 2012 college football season is upon us. For most that means an important void is finally filled after months of emptiness. For you, however, it's even more.
To go along with our beloved sport, I present to you the first ever Two-Minute Drill -- a weekly rundown of randawesomeness relating to all things college football. Once you've gone through a week with the TMD at your side, you may be asking yourself, "How did I ever enjoy the college football season without this perfect marriage of blog and sport?"
What's important isn't that you answer that question -- the TMD would rather you didn't -- but simply that you enjoy the short ride. According to (hopefully) reputable internet sources, the average person can read 400 words in a two-minute span with 60% comprehension.
Spare me 120 seconds of your day and I'll give you three-out-of-five things worth remembering. Welcome to the Two-Minute Drill.
Without any predictions to reflect on from the previous week in football I'm happy to report I still have a zero in the "Big Miss" column. To make up for that, let's get one thing out of the way: Michigan State is going to beat Boise State by at least fourteen points. That feels better, now there's some tension in the room.
Michigan versus Alabama is clearly the biggest matchup of week one, but the MSU and BSU contest will be more revealing. The Broncos have unremarkable talent and the worst collection of experience in the Chris Petersen era. After Friday night we'll see that Boise really is that average this year.
Two teams that are anything but average this year, however are the aforementioned Crimson Tide and Wolverines. What many forget is Nick Saban has an offensive philosophy that reflects that of traditional B1G teams. The Tide will ground and pound the Wolverines in an attempt to wear them down -- the real difference-maker in the game. Alabama has seen speed and Denard Robinson brings nothing new. Tide over the Wolverines by 11.
Three more picks: Clemson by eight over Auburn, Louisville downs Kentucky by twelve, and Virginia Tech takes down Georgia Tech by four points.
'CUZ I'VE GOT A GOLDEN TICKET
Put a little variety in your life, would you? Take a road trip, see a team in a different stadium that you normally wouldn't. Heck, at least change the channel and watch a MAC game once in a while. Three "Cheap Ticket" games of the week:
For those of us who have ever graced the field as an overweight lineman, you know all about the "lineman jog." The one where you shuffle your feet, swing your arms fast, and emote great pain with facial expressions. In case you forgot, or want to give it a try, there's a wikiHow page for that.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
In last night's UCLA vs. Rice game, horrible special teams and extreme turns in momentum made it hard to settle in and grasp the flow of the game. Rice linebacker Cameron Nwosu became the first player ever to block three extra points in one half but was outdone by the offense of UCLA. The Bruins led 35 to 24 at halftime, but it's how they scored that was most ridiculous. UCLA connected on three scoring plays of 70+ yards -- all before the first half. Naturally, no one scored in the third quarter.
GOAT OF THE WEEK
Notre Dame radio commentator Allen Pinkett will get to enjoy the beauty of an Irish game from other-than-the-pressbox this Saturday thanks to his comment that criminals make better football players. Is that why the SEC is so...well-behaved?
MARSHALL IS RUNNING THE WRONG WAY!
It took one game to get our first amazing on-field moment, but it wasn't exactly the spectacular as much as it was of the head-scratchable variety. Kent State's Andrew Parker fielded a muffed punt and promptly ran nearly fifty yards in the wrong direction [Video: Deadspin]. If that's not hilarious enough, a Towson player ran him down to tackle and "prevent" him from scoring a safety -- for Towson.
The comparison that comes to mind is that of the 1964 Jim Marshall incident [Video: YouTube]. At least the Towson player was nice enough to stop him short of the endzone, even if the ball was dead by rule considering muffed punts can't be advanced -- or retreated.
LONG SNAPPER SPOTLIGHT
Welcome to the caboose of TMD's college football train. Whether for good or bad, long snappers need lovin' too. Unfortunately for our not-so-elite fraternity, this week's spotlight doesn't exactly get off on the right foot.
Kansas Jayhawks long snapper Justin Carnes was arrested for DWI this past Saturday and has been suspended for the team's first three games. If Allen Pinkett speaks the truth then Carnes may be the best at his position in the entire nation.
Justin Mikels is a staff writer for Operation Sports. Follow him on Twitter: @long_snapper