everything you say is correct and I agree... development is harder and will be for some time and hopefully there will be fruit (as there is with 1st party exclusives given enough time and money).
Regarding the above, BO Paradise ...reading the recent Digital foundry interview with Criterion, it has been more or less confirmed that the 360 version actually has unused RAM so they are on par with the PS3 (essentially). they said they "they coded to the least common denominator within each console". so areas where PS3 had an advantage, it was not used if 360 couldn't keep up. so as Adam has stated, each has it's pluses and minuses that need to be factored in.
also, believe it or not, reading developer comments on B3D as well, it is confirmed that several games reduce the memory footprint on the 360 version (gimping it slightly, textures, AA) just so forum threads like these don't backlash on the devs and/or sales by PS3 owners.
SO IN CONCLUSION 
... taking EA or the more than friendly devs on this board to task for short-comings in the PS3 version is unwarranted, unfounded, and unfair. 