Share your favorite way to get back at telemarketers

[Kodos]

Sometimes I like to pick up and just talk off their ear until they give up in frustration.

[MikeVic]

Let them know I'm not interested and hang up. Or hang up if they're not listening. It's a normal person on the other end of the phone.

[Kodos]

It is a normal person who chooses to do a job that involves disrupting people's right to be left alone.

[QuikSand]

Phone rings.

I pick up.

Me: Hello?

...pause...

*click*

Telemarketer: Hello?

Me: No. Here's how it works, You call me. I pick up, and I say hello. Then you start talking. Got it?

*I hang up*

[cartman]

I just never pick up the phone if the Caller ID isn't a number I recognize.

[Kodos]

Yeah, but I get the same ones calling every day. (I work at home) Ignoring it just means they'll call again tomorrow. I even picked up last week and politely asked to be removed from their list. So now it has become my job to make their job more difficult.

[Butter_of_69]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Phone rings.

I pick up.

Me: Hello?

...pause...

*I hang up*

Fix'd for me.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

Let them know I'm not interested and hang up. Or hang up if they're not listening. It's a normal person on the other end of the phone.

I feel the same way.

Originally Posted by Kodos

It is a normal person who chooses to do a job that involves disrupting people's right to be left alone.

Please. Telemarketing is an awful job. Imagine what sort of circumstances would have to occur in your own life for you to "choose" that job. Nobody is calling you because they want to.

This is like saying it's OK to be rude to the guy who empties your garbage bins at work because hey, if he doesn't like it he shouldn't have chosen that career.

I hate telemarketing and won't do business with a company that employs that tactic. But you can still be decent human being to the person on the other end of the line.

[Subby]

I let them know we don't accept phone solicitations in our home and I ask them to add us to their do not call list.

Then I say thank you and hang up.

THEN I pee on the phone.

[Kodos]

The man who is emptying my garbage bins is doing me a service. The person calling me repeatedly at home is not doing me a service. There are other jobs out there.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by Subby

I let them know we don't accept phone solicitations in our home and I ask them to add us to their do not call list.

Then I say thank you and hang up.

THEN I pee on the phone.

That sounds good, but I'd take it up a notch. Go all Najeh Davenport on 'em!

[cartman]

Ask them if they have stairs in their house.

[cougarfreak]

I ask them to hang on, that I've got someone else on the other line. Then I set the phone down. For a long time.

[wheels]

Not that I've successfully sued anyone with this, but FYI:

JUNKBUSTERS Anti-Telemarketing Script

Telemarketers always use a script: why shouldn't you?

What to say when they call if you don't want junk calls

Every time you get a call you consider junk, just ask the questions in this script. If they answer no, you may be able to sue them. Be sure to put your phone number on the National Do-Not-Call registry by visiting http://donotcall.gov or by calling 1-888-382-1222.

1. ``Are you calling to sell something?'' (or ``is this a telemarketing call?'')
2. ``Could you tell me your full name please?'' $
3. ``And a phone number, area code first?'' $
4. ``What's the name of the organization you're calling for?'' $
5. ``Does that organization keep a list of numbers it's been asked not to call?'' $
6. ``I would like my number(s) put on that list. Can you take care of that now?'' $
7. ``And does the company you work for also make telemarketing calls for any other organizations?'' (If they answer no, skip the next question.)
8. (If yes) ``Can you make sure your company won't call me for any other organization?'' $

You may need to ask to speak with a supervisor if they sound lost. When you're ready to let them off, you might close with ``Is it clear that I never want telemarketing calls from anyone?'' and just say goodbye. If you feel like making them pay, keep going:

1. ``Will your company keep my number on its do-not-call list for at least ten years?'' $
2. ``And does your company have a written policy that says that on paper?'' $
3. ``Can you send me a copy of it?'' $
4. ``What's your supervisor's first and last name?''
5. ``What's your employer's business name, address and main telephone number?''
6. ``Are you calling for a tax-exempt nonprofit organization?''
7. ``Is this call based on a previously established business relationship?''

Before hanging up, check you have all their answers written down, then say goodbye. Add the date and time to your record. (Is it between 8 a.m. and 9 p.m.? $) Disclaimer: nothing here should be taken as legal advice. If they answer no to any question ending in ``$'' you may be able to sue them for $500-$1500 under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. But if the answer to either of the last two questions is yes, then the Act doesn't consider the call to be a solicitation, so it's not covered by many of its regulations. Also excluded are calls to business numbers. For more details, see our pages on federal laws and on how to reduce telemarketing calls and junk mail. JUNKBUSTERS DECLARE makes it easy to tell companies not to pester you.

[gottimd]

I just answer the phone screaming obscenities.

[VPI97]

I let my six year old talk to them.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by gottimd

I just answer the phone screaming obscenities.

So do I.

Oh, wait, I thought this was the "share your favorite way to get back at mothers-in-law" thread.

[Bad-example]

I calmly wish a terrible disease on them and hang up.

I understand the job sucks. But if they didn't want to hear what I have to say, they shouldn't have called to annoy me. The idea is to help them decide to quit, creating staffing problems for the real villain, the company that employs them.

edit- I figure plenty of people cuss them out and they are pretty used to it, but I bet they will remember the guy that wished anal warts on them.

[Kodos]

Y'ello? What can I do ya for?

[Poli]

I tell them their product sounds great but my wife doesn't allow me to have access to a credit card because I kept buying stuff from telemarketers.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Kodos

That sounds good, but I'd take it up a notch. Go all Najeh Davenport on 'em!

What Subby didn't tell you is that he does that for every call. Not just telemarketers.

SI

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Yeah, but I get the same ones calling every day. (I work at home) Ignoring it just means they'll call again tomorrow. I even picked up last week and politely asked to be removed from their list. So now it has become my job to make their job more difficult.

That's the big problem- they'll keep calling day after day and there's no way to make it stop. They won't remove you from a list, they'll just keep calling you because you've verified you're a working phone number.

My wife worked for Chrysler Financial for a few months and it was a horrible job. She was one of those people that called people who were deadbeat on their car bills. Lots of people would sign up with fake phone numbers but they weren't allowed to take them off the list.

SI

[lordscarlet]

https://www.donotcall.gov/

[sterlingice]

I just verified that I've been on the list (since 2004) but it doesn't prevent all calls.

SI

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by cartman

I just never pick up the phone if the Caller ID isn't a number I recognize.

x Eleventy Billion

[wade moore]

I did telemarketing for 2 years in High School.

I have some compassion for the people doing the job. There are folks from all walks of life and it gets to a point where you have to do the job you can get hired for. Some of the same people saying "bum, get another job" are the sames that will tell them "bums, get a job" when they're living on the streets.

I politely say I'm not interested and I hang up.

If the same number is calling over and over after asking to be removed, I would pursue the legal options available via the do not call list.

[thesloppy]

Is anybody getting calls from 1-866-800-5475? These motherfuckers call me all day, everyday, and on the off chance that I answer THEY hang up.....that's a real cherry system you've got going there, chief.

..a little research proves that these guys are insurance peddlers that are business associates with Wells Fargo (my bank) and are therefore protected from the no-call list (see question number 7 in the second section of Wheels' post). In order to get them to stop calling I had to tell them directly to stop calling me AND call up Wells Fargo to 'opt-out' of there privacy policy...because of course the default is to assume that of course you WANT telemarketers calling you, and they don't even tell you about the option, or give you the option to opt-out yourself, you have to dig for it.

I was not appreciative to learn these things....you Wells Fargo bastards are out there making money entirely based upon on holding and maintaining the customer's money, and you think it's appropriate to sell their personal info to someone else without any sort of warning? I have had MANY reasons to close my Wells Fargo account in the past, but laziness has always won out, but I think this is the proverbial final straw.

[Raiders Army]

I ask them if they don't mind me recording the conversation. Usually they say no, so then I start to ask how they got my number, etc.

[Poli]

I like to give them Cronin's number.

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

I ask them if they don't mind me recording the conversation. Usually they say no, so then I start to ask how they got my number, etc.

..I had an (entirely un)interesting, but related incident, where I discovered that swearing over a business line is considered an FCC violation, and if you have proof of someone doing so (remember that a lot of these place also record their own calls) I believe you can have them fined, get a restraining order, and even possibly have all the phone-lines from that business closed.

[TroyF]

Originally Posted by wade moore

I did telemarketing for 2 years in High School.

I have some compassion for the people doing the job. There are folks from all walks of life and it gets to a point where you have to do the job you can get hired for. Some of the same people saying "bum, get another job" are the sames that will tell them "bums, get a job" when they're living on the streets.

I politely say I'm not interested and I hang up.

If the same number is calling over and over after asking to be removed, I would pursue the legal options available via the do not call list.

Pretty much my response. I did it when I was in HS. I hated it, but needed a job and for various reasons I couldn't have a "physical" job. That limited me to whatever I could get. I didn't like calling you and interupting your dinner, but I wanted a paycheck so I could have spending money and I didn't have a lot of other options.

I typcically won't answer the phone of a number I don't recognize. If I do, I 'll say thanks but no thanks, have a nice night, good bye.

No need to be rude IMHO.

That said, when I did it, the rude people actually made the day entertaining. Play a practical joke on me? Whatever.

If you really, really, really want to hurt the telemarketer, do this:

Feign interest and listen to the full pitch. Ask 10 questions. Then say you aren't interested and hang up. Those were the worst for me. Nobody had to be rude or cuss at me. Doing that took up my time and impacted how many sales I had in a night. If I had 15 of those a night, I'd have quit in a few weeks because I wouldn't have made enough money to spend anyway.

[TroyF]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

..I had an (entirely un)interesting, but related incident, where I discovered that swearing over a business line is considered an FCC violation, and if you have proof of someone doing so (remember that a lot of these place also record their own calls) I believe you can have them fined, get a restraining order, and even possibly have all the phone-lines from that business closed.

Working in a call center, (both the telemarketing and later as a call center tech support all the way to supervisor), you are dead on.

Our calls were recorded. Any employee cussing on the line would lose his/her job instantly. A customer cussing (at the technical call support center only) would be warned after a first cuss word and hung up on after a second. If they called back, they'd go into a special Q which would tell them it was against the FCC laws to cuss over the phone system and we'd give them one more shot to be civil.

Obviously, I'm not saying we'd do that to the guy who said something like "I can't get this F'n thing to work, I really need your help" We would do it if he said "you and your company are F'n morons, I hate all of you F'ers and hope you burn in hell" (that was actually the opening salvo of a hot call I took once) Those guys woudl get the quick warning and hook if they continued it.

[RPI-Fan]

Originally Posted by TroyF

Pretty much my response. I did it when I was in HS. I hated it, but needed a job and for various reasons I couldn't have a "physical" job. That limited me to whatever I could get. I didn't like calling you and interupting your dinner, but I wanted a paycheck so I could have spending money and I didn't have a lot of other options.

I typcically won't answer the phone of a number I don't recognize. If I do, I 'll say thanks but no thanks, have a nice night, good bye.

No need to be rude IMHO.

That said, when I did it, the rude people actually made the day entertaining. Play a practical joke on me? Whatever.

If you really, really, really want to hurt the telemarketer, do this:

Feign interest and listen to the full pitch. Ask 10 questions. Then say you aren't interested and hang up. Those were the worst for me. Nobody had to be rude or cuss at me. Doing that took up my time and impacted how many sales I had in a night. If I had 15 of those a night, I'd have quit in a few weeks because I wouldn't have made enough money to spend anyway.

Just curious, what were you selling, what was your hit rate, and does "sticking to the script" really work?

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by RPI-Fan

Just curious, what were you selling, what was your hit rate, and does "sticking to the script" really work?

I'll bite from my experience.

I did telemarketing for a travel club. I called and tried to book you to go to an in-person presentation (local to you - just for Northern Virginia and Chicago). The hook was you'd get a free trip after the presentation.

I was paid commision based on booking an appointment and I believe you got extra when they actually followed through (or it may be that you only got money when they actually followed through, can't remember).

As a 16, 17 year old kid I was making $10-$14 an hour after commission (with a base of I think $6 an hour). I did pretty well. I mostly stuck to the script and felt a lot of my success was by not trying to "convince" people. If folks were not interested I said have a nice day and moved on to the next customer. I feel like some people wasted too much time trying to make the sell.

On a side note - I saw many, many a person "break-down" in that job. Tended to be females, but sometimes males as well. It's a very tough job to do because everyone things it's fun to be rude to the telemarketer. I saw single mothers trying to get some extra money (it was a 5-9pm gig, so it could be second job) breakdown crying and have to quit because of it, etc, etc.

Edit: But that was in a world before the no-call registry.

[jeff061]

Went cell phone only awhile ago, so this became a non-issue.

Generally I used to just hang up on them, not worth the time. But once I led the guy on for a few minutes, then dropped the "I'm not interested". He was mad, very mad, at me for wasting his time. It was amusing listening to him tell me off, but wasn't worth the effort to do again.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by jeff061

Went cell phone only awhile ago, so this became a non-issue.

Generally I used to just hang up on them, not worth the time. But once I led the guy on for a few minutes, then dropped the "I'm not interested". He was mad, very mad, at me for wasting his time. It was amusing listening to him tell me off, but wasn't worth the effort to do again.

This was definitely the worst way to get to me based on my strategy above.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I sometimes have played like I am an old man who is senile... Who? Oh... You looking for my son. He had me move in with him after I fell in my home and broke my hip. I loved that home... bought it before I shipped off to europe in the war. I come home and had the same plymoth in the drive that was there before and my son was so big (laugh) Me and the Mrs had two more children after that. She's been gone for a few years now and I miss her so... She was such a good woman. Who is this again? Who were you calling for? Oh, that's my son! He had me move in a few years back after I fell in my home and broke my hip.

It is at that time you hear an exasperated gasp.

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

x Eleventy Billion

Yup

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Abraham Simpson

One trick is to tell em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..

SI

[lordscarlet]

If you feel someone is violating the do not call list and is calling you consistently a threat to report them is normally enough. If its not, actually report them.

[Rizon]

When they ask for me, I say "hold on while I get him" and set the phone down without hanging it up, and go about doing what I was doing before I was rudely interuputed.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by lordscarlet

https://www.donotcall.gov/

Of course I've already done that. One of the first items of business after moving to a new place.

[oliegirl]

My father used to let magazine telemarketers get about halfway through their script and then interrupt them with something like "who put you up to this?", of course the person would say no one, and he would say something to the effect of "what kind of cruel joke is this? I lost my sight in the war...is this how you treat veterans?" or something like that. It was pretty funny b/c the person on the other end would stutter and stammer, but it got to be too much effort so now he just says not interested and hangs up, which is what I do too.

[MizzouRah]

I usually act like I'm mexican and talk about eating a chalupa a taco bell.

[Logan]

I go into full-on Pumpy mode.

[Karlifornia]

Every time they start talking, I hit 3-3-2-3-9-3 on the keypad to the tune of "GO GO POWER RANGERS!"

[Izulde]

I let them say three words and then I say "Not Interested Bye" and hang up.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Izulde

I let them say three words and then I say "Not Interested Bye" and hang up.

What? But that just ends the conversation and lets you get back to what you're doing, without embarassing some guy making minimum wage.

[CU Tiger]

I like play along and then see if they have sales guys to come out and visit(most recent was a home security deal).
If so I always start to schedule an appointment, then "Wait, I have to see counselor that day. How about Tuesday? Ooops Tuesday I have to visit my parole officer. Maybe Thursday...Dang it Thursday I have community service. I HATE THIS SHIT, KILL ONE DUMB ILLEGAL AND THEY RUIN YOUR LIFE....I guess I cant buy your product which is a shame cause it sounds like fantastic crap."

They usually hang up then

[TroyF]

I sold papers. Got $10 for each sale. Made minimum wage (at the time I think it was in the $4 something range.

Sticking to the script worked as long as you have the ability to "adjust" it. By that I mean reading the caller on the other end of the line, asking the right questions and then going to that part of the script. A college age voice probably isn't interested in me telling them about Parade Magazine in the Sunday edition of the paper, the old guy probably isn't interested in me pitching the hot new comics, the young female probably isn't interested in the newly designed sports section.

I saw a lot of young mothers, uneducated older people and students trying to make a buck. I also saw the breakdowns someone else showed above. It's why I have little desire to be mean or rude to any of them.

Then again, that's really the way I lead my life. Someone cuts me off? I can choose to get pissed, flip him off and act like an ass. . . or I can go about the rest of my day. There are very, very few situations where I think it's appropriate to treat another human being with malice.

As Maple Leafs said above, you made the young student, single mother or uneducated worker trying to make a living feel like garbage because you had a 30 second annoyance at dinner. You're a credit to humanity.