Don't do stupid shit like this!

[T.C.M]

1) Do not get drunk and talk to other peoples girlfriends

2) Do not stick your fingers in cigar cutters when your drunk just because someone said "hey stick your finger in here

3) Do not ride a bike in the ice, or slick snow when you have a thorn patch at the end of your driveway

4) In conjunction with number 3, do not ride a overly small bike down a steep hill and over a large speed bump

5) Despite what we all like to think, not EVERYTHING is smokable

6) Don't throw frisbee's at lit lightbulbs

7) Eating a one pound block of cheese is not good either

8) Don't take pills just because they are there

9) Don't get drunk and run around naked at a shopping center

10) Yes gasoline smells good, but don't smell it for too long

11) check the expiration date on orange juice before making shooters

12) No you can't clean up all that glass after throwing plates of the balcony

13) It is not fun to dance on the roof despite the thrill

14) Most cat's have claws so don't blow in their face just because they make a funny face

15) Avoid animals when on XTC

16) REALLY avoid tree's when on XTC

17) If they are hot and drunk, they probably have a boyfriend that is big and drunk

18) Watch who you make the "that person is runnin like a jew in poland '45" crack to

19) If you see a homeless guy that looks like he's dead, don't try to wake him up

20) and don't laugh at him either

21) Just because they are wearing sunglasses doesn't mean they are blind

22) Empty paintball guns + old people = probation

23) Don't hit shopping carts with your car, as fun as it may seem

24) No it's not fun to get drunk and hit your drunk friend in the face with a champaign cork

25) Do not burn things in the bathroom

26) Although making dale earnhardt's death jokes can be quite amusing, do not make them to large burly black truck drivers

27) A pellet gun CAN kill a dog

28) Once again i need to stress not getting drunk and talking to your friends girlfriend

29) don't show up at your friends house with a bottle of jack daniels in your hand, sometimes their parents are home

30) Think about this when your a pedestrian "No that car probably can't see me coming around the corner"

31) Paint thinner is very flammable

32) "Hey let's just dump the gas directly from the can to the burn barrel"...no don't do that either

33) No cops believe "we were just going to hardee's" at 2 am

34) Getting blitzed and knocking on random peoples doors at 11 pm results in angry man with pistol

35) The first place your parents look for weed is your top drawer

36) And as good as a hiding place as it sounds, the second place they look is above the door frame in the inside of your closet

37) Yes those goofy fake wrestling moves really do hurt

38) That girls parents WERE serious about "no cum stains in my car or im gonna bust your nose in" they meant that, really

39) Yes even if it's a mom saying that

40) Don't tempt drunk friends to "Spray me with that mace, i fucking dare you" Because they are plastered and they will

41) Your parents don't believe (really) that your using that lighter for candles

42) Those floor fans in your room, they are moving faster then you think even if your tripping, the cover is there for a reason

43) If you work at a fast food place, and someone pulls up to the drive through and gets all cockey, don't spit in their food give it to them and say fuck off goat fucker under your breath because they may be your grandparents.

44) Girls know your not bending down underneath your desk JUST to get your pencil...

45) Just IGNORE those people who are selling you bootlegs in the baltimore subways, don't get pissy at them, they probably have knives

46) A pellet gun can go through shoe leather too you know...

47) This isn't TV, the bottles don't break peoples heads, they give them concussions

48) The first time you have a sexual encounter with a woman, make sure you can see what your doing, the small one's probably the ass hole

49) Sticking your dick in the vaccum cleaner hurts

50) Warm apple pie does not feel like pussy.

[cuervo72]

Originally posted by T.C.M

6) Don't throw frisbee's at lit lightbulbs

That may not be fun, but playing javelin with fluorescent light bulbs is.

(doing this in an abandoned mental institution at night makes it even more fun)

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by cuervo72
That may not be fun, but playing javelin with fluorescent light bulbs is.

(doing this in an abandoned mental institution at night makes it even more fun)

I always had fun throwing rocks at fluorescent light bulbs in the dumpster back when I worked at Burger King in high school. They make such a cool sound when they implode...

[cuervo72]

Yes, they do. Internal contents under great pressure

[Raven Hawk]

This thread should be called:

Everything I needed to know I learned while working in the America's Funniest Home Video screening office.

[CAsterling]

Originally posted by T.C.M
1) Do not get drunk and talk to other peoples girlfriends

Why not ? It can lead to great sex and the only downside is you might lose a friend........and friends are relatively easy to replace

[korme]

Many of these ring so true it's eery.

[The_herd]

Originally posted by CAsterling
Why not ? It can lead to great sex and the only downside is you might lose a friend........and friends are relatively easy to replace

Words to live by.