Kids say the darndest things

Butter_of_69 · 07-16-2003, 12:37 PM

My 3 year old son, Ethan, did my favorite thing ever yesterday.

He was sitting in the van behind me with toys scattered around the floor as usual. When he doesn't know the name of something, he often says "this one". So, he starts getting whiny and saying "I want this one" and pointing. I can't see what he wants, so I say "what is it?" He gets more and more insistent, saying "I want this one, dada, this one!" I say, "I can't see what you're talking about, Ethan."

"THIS ONE!"
"Ethan, if you want me to get you something, you have to say what it is or else I don't know what you want."
Ethan points and says "What it is. What it is, dada!"

After 5 minutes of laughing through tears, I foolishly try to reason more with him and say "No, I mean that you have to say the name of it."

Predictably, he says "The name of it. The name of it, dada!"

Mrs. Butter laughed the hardest because I actually tried AGAIN to get him to tell me what he wanted and it didn't work. This cracked me up and reminded me of the old Cosby Show episode where Bill told his kids that when they knock on the door they had to say "who it is"....

Feel free to post your funny kid's stories here. I just thought that was so funny I had to share.

sachmo71 · 07-16-2003, 02:00 PM

That's great! It's funny sometimes, watching kids learn things that we do without thought. It's a neverending source of amazement to my wife and I. Thanks for the laugh!

EDIT: My wife just called me. She is visiting her mom and took the baby with her. Apparently, my darling, precious little girl has learned how to make fart noises on her arm! Guess who got blamed?

clintl · 07-16-2003, 02:13 PM

My brother told me this story about my niece. I think she was about 5 years old at the time. They were on a trip, and I guess there were some caves in the area that were a tourist attraction (I think this was in the Sierra Nevada foothills.) My niece wanted to the caves. My brother and niece stayed in the car while my sister-in-law went into a store to do some shopping, and apparently, my niece was being a pest about the caves.

Finally, my brother got frustrated with her, and said, "We're not going to the fucking caves."

My niece was quiet for a few minutes, but before long, she said, "I want to go to the fucking caves."

My brother turned around, and said, "What did you say? I don't ever want to hear you say that word again."

My niece starting crying, and said, "I'll never say 'cave' again."

Ksyrup · 07-16-2003, 02:31 PM

My daughter, who will be turning 4 next month, is already getting to that teenager stage, it seems. My in-laws are moving to Jacksonville in a couple of months, and Grandma breaks the news to her over the phone, telling her that they are moving closer to us. And my daughter says, "Oh, and where would that be?"

We didn't even hear the comment that drew the response, but it still made us fall down laughing at her delivery.

Butter,

Your story reminds me of an exchange I had with my Dad years ago. Admittedly, I wasn't 3, but probably closer to 7 or 8. We were listening to the radio and some song came on, and I asked my Dad if it was the Beatles, and he said "No, Guess Who." And so I said "The Rolling Stones?" And he said...well you get it, we went on for a few minutes, Abbott and Costello-style, until he told me that the name of the band was actually the Guess Who, and that he wasn't playing a guessing game with me.

primelord · 07-16-2003, 03:00 PM

No kids of my own, but I will share a pretty funny story about a friend's daughter. We had been to several stores that day and at each store we had bought something. So we make a final stop for the day, but my buddy didn't find what he was looking for so we are leaving the store and right before we walk his little 5 year old daughter says quite loudly "Daddy aren't you going to pay for that?" He turned very red and said "Darling we didn't get anything" and we quickly headed out of the store.

mrsimperless · 07-16-2003, 03:35 PM

A few months ago I walked into a fast food chain carrying my daughter who is 3. There were a couple of cops already up at the register ordering their food. As soon as she saw them she says

"Uh-oh daddy, the police!"

:o

I have no idea where that came from! She must have heard her mother or I say something at one point in time while driving or something... I'm not a criminal, I swear!

Critch · 07-16-2003, 04:09 PM

My nephew has never (to my knowledge) said anything remotely funny, but he did write his name on my mother's bathroom wall using his own excrement.

Franklinnoble · 07-16-2003, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Critch
My nephew has never (to my knowledge) said anything remotely funny, but he did write his name on my mother's bathroom wall using his own excrement.

Hey, being able to write your own name at such a tender age is a pretty big accomplishment.

damnMikeBrown · 07-16-2003, 05:07 PM

Shows a good bit of ingeneuity and adaptation to the tools at hand as well.

tucker342 · 07-16-2003, 05:34 PM

hahahaha

These are great

CamEdwards · 07-16-2003, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Franklinnoble
Hey, being able to write your own name at such a tender age is a pretty big accomplishment.

He was 27 at the time.

oykib · 07-16-2003, 06:05 PM

Two of the stories my parents like to tell about me as a tyke:

Father

When I was about two years old my father's driving me to my godmother's house. He has to stop because of some engine trouble. He gets out into the rain and starts smacking the hood. After fixing the problem and getting back inside and looks over at me. I proceed to start smacking the seat repeating, "Aw shit, Daddy... Aw shit..."

Mother

About a year later I'm on the bus with my mother. This was in the day of hard liquor ads. As we pass a particular one of these, I point out the window and in my best loud three-year old voice go, "Look, mommy, that's your booze."

Mike D · 07-17-2003, 10:28 AM

Awesome stuff!

When i was a child, still in a high-chair for dinner (yeah...it was weeks ago, now.) My grandmother put some dinner down in front of me which I promptly replied, "Aww, shit. Peas again."

I had a similar "Guess" story involving Guess jeans, but I was in high school at the time and my mom had no clue about Guess jeans. She says, "What kind of jeans did you end up buying at the mall?"

"Guess." I say to which she responds, "Levi's?" hehe...

Also in high school, I remember being in a mall in northern Virginia. I got into an elevator with a black family of 4. A white father and daughter followed me in and the child promptly said, "Look daddy! "N-----s!" I can't remember the elevator door ever taking so long to open back up.

cuervo72 · 07-17-2003, 10:41 AM

Hmm....reminds me of the story of when I was 3 or 4 and we went to the beach. I was playing with a little black boy about my age and felt the need to ask him if he knew that "black people used to be slaves".

Marmel · 07-17-2003, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dutch

Also in high school, I remember being in a mall in northern Virginia. I got into an elevator with a black family of 4. A white father and daughter followed me in and the child promptly said, "Look daddy! "N-----s!" I can't remember the elevator door ever taking so long to open back up.

You owe me one keyboard, clean of coffee!

07-16-2003, 02:00 PM	#2
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	That's great! It's funny sometimes, watching kids learn things that we do without thought. It's a neverending source of amazement to my wife and I. Thanks for the laugh! EDIT: My wife just called me. She is visiting her mom and took the baby with her. Apparently, my darling, precious little girl has learned how to make fart noises on her arm! Guess who got blamed? __________________ Join Extra Life 2012 and play video games for charity! Last edited by sachmo71 : 07-16-2003 at 02:02 PM.

07-16-2003, 02:31 PM	#4
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	My daughter, who will be turning 4 next month, is already getting to that teenager stage, it seems. My in-laws are moving to Jacksonville in a couple of months, and Grandma breaks the news to her over the phone, telling her that they are moving closer to us. And my daughter says, "Oh, and where would that be?" We didn't even hear the comment that drew the response, but it still made us fall down laughing at her delivery. Butter, Your story reminds me of an exchange I had with my Dad years ago. Admittedly, I wasn't 3, but probably closer to 7 or 8. We were listening to the radio and some song came on, and I asked my Dad if it was the Beatles, and he said "No, Guess Who." And so I said "The Rolling Stones?" And he said...well you get it, we went on for a few minutes, Abbott and Costello-style, until he told me that the name of the band was actually the Guess Who, and that he wasn't playing a guessing game with me. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

07-16-2003, 03:00 PM	#5
primelord Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000	No kids of my own, but I will share a pretty funny story about a friend's daughter. We had been to several stores that day and at each store we had bought something. So we make a final stop for the day, but my buddy didn't find what he was looking for so we are leaving the store and right before we walk his little 5 year old daughter says quite loudly "Daddy aren't you going to pay for that?" He turned very red and said "Darling we didn't get anything" and we quickly headed out of the store. __________________ .

07-16-2003, 03:35 PM	#6
mrsimperless College Prospect Join Date: Apr 2003	A few months ago I walked into a fast food chain carrying my daughter who is 3. There were a couple of cops already up at the register ordering their food. As soon as she saw them she says "Uh-oh daddy, the police!" :o I have no idea where that came from! She must have heard her mother or I say something at one point in time while driving or something... I'm not a criminal, I swear! __________________ "All I know is that smart women are hot. Susan Polgar beat me in 24 moves in a simultaneous exhbition. I slept with the scoresheet under my pillow." Off some dude's web site. Last edited by mrsimperless : 07-16-2003 at 03:36 PM.

07-17-2003, 10:41 AM	#14
cuervo72 Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Hmm....reminds me of the story of when I was 3 or 4 and we went to the beach. I was playing with a little black boy about my age and felt the need to ask him if he knew that "black people used to be slaves". __________________ Commish - FOFL FOFL - Bar Harbor Whitecaps FOBL - Las Vegas Lightning IHOF - Frederick Red Menace

07-16-2003, 02:13 PM	#3
clintl College Starter Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Davis, CA	My brother told me this story about my niece. I think she was about 5 years old at the time. They were on a trip, and I guess there were some caves in the area that were a tourist attraction (I think this was in the Sierra Nevada foothills.) My niece wanted to the caves. My brother and niece stayed in the car while my sister-in-law went into a store to do some shopping, and apparently, my niece was being a pest about the caves. Finally, my brother got frustrated with her, and said, "We're not going to the fucking caves." My niece was quiet for a few minutes, but before long, she said, "I want to go to the fucking caves." My brother turned around, and said, "What did you say? I don't ever want to hear you say that word again." My niece starting crying, and said, "I'll never say 'cave' again."

07-16-2003, 04:09 PM	#7
Critch lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Herndon, VA	My nephew has never (to my knowledge) said anything remotely funny, but he did write his name on my mother's bathroom wall using his own excrement.

07-16-2003, 05:07 PM	#9
damnMikeBrown College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Cincinnati, OH	Shows a good bit of ingeneuity and adaptation to the tools at hand as well.

07-16-2003, 05:34 PM	#10
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	hahahaha These are great

07-16-2003, 06:05 PM	#12
oykib College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000	Two of the stories my parents like to tell about me as a tyke: Father When I was about two years old my father's driving me to my godmother's house. He has to stop because of some engine trouble. He gets out into the rain and starts smacking the hood. After fixing the problem and getting back inside and looks over at me. I proceed to start smacking the seat repeating, "Aw shit, Daddy... Aw shit..." Mother About a year later I'm on the bus with my mother. This was in the day of hard liquor ads. As we pass a particular one of these, I point out the window and in my best loud three-year old voice go, "Look, mommy, that's your booze."

07-17-2003, 10:28 AM	#13
Mike D "Dutch" Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Tampa, FL	Awesome stuff! When i was a child, still in a high-chair for dinner (yeah...it was weeks ago, now.) My grandmother put some dinner down in front of me which I promptly replied, "Aww, shit. Peas again." I had a similar "Guess" story involving Guess jeans, but I was in high school at the time and my mom had no clue about Guess jeans. She says, "What kind of jeans did you end up buying at the mall?" "Guess." I say to which she responds, "Levi's?" hehe... Also in high school, I remember being in a mall in northern Virginia. I got into an elevator with a black family of 4. A white father and daughter followed me in and the child promptly said, "Look daddy! "N-----s!" I can't remember the elevator door ever taking so long to open back up.

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