OT: I'll never swim in Antarctic waters again...

[WSUCougar]

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (April 3) - Fishermen working in Antarctic waters have made an extremely rare catch - a colossal squid with eyes as big as dinner plates and razor-sharp hooks on its tentacles, a marine researcher said Thursday.

The 330-pound, 16-foot-long specimen was caught in the Ross Sea, said Steve O'Shea, a research fellow with the Auckland University of Technology. He said the squid was a young female; adults are much bigger. YIKES!

Going by the scientific name Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the animal is unrelated to the smaller and more common giant squid, O'Shea said.

"This animal is formidable,'' he told New Zealand's National Radio.

While the giant squid eats "quite small prey,'' the colossal squid eats large prey like the Patagonian toothfish, which can grow more than six feet long. Doesn't this sound like great dating-insult material? "Man, she had a nice body, but her face looked like a Patagonian toothfish...

Fully grown, the colossal squid would be "larger than any giant squid I have seen, and I've seen 105 of them,'' O'Shea said. I find it quite amusing that this guy keeps track of how many giant squids he's seen. What, does he put notches on his belt?

Only one other colossal squid has ever been caught before. Scientists knew of their existence because their beaks have been found in the stomachs of sperm whales. I guess it makes sense, but I wouldn't have associated the words "squid" and "beak" together.

"All we know is that it can move through the water ... to a depth of 2,000 meters (6,561 feet) and it is an extremely active and extremely aggressive killer,'' O'Shea said.

It differs from the giant squid "by having enormous hooks arming the tentacles and the arms,'' he said.

The creature makes up three-quarters of the diet of large sperm whales, which suggests there are large numbers of them in Antarctic waters, O'Shea said. He said the squid was caught near the surface of the ocean.

[tucker342]

ya I read an article about that.....

That's one big squid.....

[GrantDawg]

Mmmmmmm.....sushi.

[bbor]

Deep fry that bad boy and make some Calamari

[mckerney]

It's still smaller than Gilbert Brown

[INDalltheway]

Originally posted by mckerney
It's still smaller than Gilbert Brown

Everybody picks on the fat kid... :D

[Fritz]

Save the Colossal Squid!

[Swaggs]

Hmmm. Whatever happened to Professor Kosta?

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Swaggs
Hmmm. Whatever happened to Professor Kosta?
He was eaten by a colossal squid.

[Fritz]

colossal squid wants to be at the top of the page

[WSUCougar]

Good man!

Fritz = Man of the Squids

[Swaggs]

Why isn't there a picture of the colossal squid?

[Fritz]

Originally posted by Swaggs
Why isn't there a picture of the colossal squid?

There was on CNN

[Anrhydeddu]

the animal is unrelated to the smaller and more common giant squid

Let's see. A giant squid is not related to the smaller squid. Hmmm.

[Fritz]

We are all God's squid

[Ksyrup]

LOL! That is interesting, though, that they are not related. Anyone know what the scientific reason for that is?

[WSUCougar]

For further information, please see the following website:

Squid Links (http://seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/OCEAN_PLANET/HTML/squid_links.html)

"You can follow these links to find out more about the world of the squid." ~ from the website

Thank you on behalf of the FOFC Ministry of Squids

WSUSquid

[Fritz]

Originally posted by Swaggs
Why isn't there a picture of the colossal squid?

http://members.aol.com/PaulEC3/squid.jpg
happy?

[Fritz]

colossal squid wants to be at the top of the page

[Fidatelo]

Originally posted by Fritz
colossal squid wants to be at the top of the page

Forget Titanic, when is James Cameron gonna get down there and start filming Colossal Squids??

[Bee]

We need a sticky for the colossal squid

[WSUCougar]

See the attached image for a view from SquidCam.*

Stay tuned for late-breaking squid news.

WSquidUCougar


*not to be confused with SquidCam Edwards, who is a radio personality somewhere in Oklahoma

[Pyser]

that aint so big.

anyone remember the family guy where a squid moved in, and they just pretended he wasnt there? blaming all the noise on an earthquake or a train passing by....funny stuff.

[wignifty]

This should finally shut the Democrats up.

Our current war in Iraq has not hindered the war on terrorism or collossal squids.

[Dagreatoneakakam]

Originally posted by Pyser
that aint so big.

anyone remember the family guy where a squid moved in, and they just pretended he wasnt there? blaming all the noise on an earthquake or a train passing by....funny stuff.

I remember that episode, it was good. But it was a giant octopus, not squid.:D

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by Fritz
http://members.aol.com/PaulEC3/squid.jpg
happy?

That's an octopus, silly...

[tucker342]

Originally posted by Fritz
http://members.aol.com/PaulEC3/squid.jpg
happy?

hahahahaha, so that's what it looks like:D :D :D

[Fritz]

Originally posted by JeeberD
That's an octopus, silly...
squidly diddly.

[Fritz]

Save the Colossal Squid!

[Swaggs]

Swim to the top big fella.

http://seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/OCEAN_PLANET/ICONS/squid_home_icon.gif

[mrushh]

``This animal is formidable,'' he told New Zealand's National Radio.

If the squid is rated "formidable" can I get it on the transfer wire? I need a formidable scorer.

[samifan24]

Originally posted by mrushh
``This animal is formidable,'' he told New Zealand's National Radio.

If the squid is rated "formidable" can I get it on the transfer wire? I need a formidable scorer.

Great post. :D

[JeeberD]

Originally posted by Fritz
squidly diddly.

Oh. Well, he looks like an octopus with the big head and all.

I love calamari...

[WSUCougar]

CSNN, your Colossal Squid News Network

The following items have been reported in the wake (get it?) of the recent colossal squid sighting:

> We have word that, despite being dead, the colossal squid has qualified for both the NHL and NBA playoffs. Being qualified but dead places the ol’ CS in the same company as any team other than Detroit in the NHL, and any Eastern Conference team in the NBA. The colossal squid has also made the latest list of the NBA’s 50 greatest players at #17, placing as the 3rd “big man” behind Shaq and Yao Ming.

> Jim Boeheim, Syracuse men’s basketball coach, refuted the rumor that the team is switching its name from the Orangemen to the Squidmen. Supposedly the idea was squashed due to the fact that “we just don’t get very many squids upstate.”

> The man who caught Sammy Sosa’s 500th homerun (who hails from St. Louis, home to CSNN headquarters) has scoffed at selling the historic ball. He told David Letterman, “Heh, I wouldn’t trade it for a colossal squid!”

> Our Georgia bureau confirms that squids, colossal or otherwise, cannot obtain membership at the Masters club. No word yet on any planned protests.

> On the war front, unemployed weapons inspector Hans Blix has declared the colossal squid a Weapon of Mass Destruction. “It’s biological – at least I think it is – and we definitely know it’s formidable,” said Blix. “We just haven’t found any of them, and since Iraq did not declare them in their 11,000 page declaration, well…connect the dots.”

> In light of (or perhaps in spite of) the above report, France has reportedly surrendered to the Colossal Squid. Famous French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, who died several years ago, had repeatedly pressed the French government to continue the Maginot Line to the Atlantic coast to prevent “squid incursions,” to no avail. And now look…mon dieu!

> There have been rumblings in some Democratic circles that the colossal squid would stand a better chance in the 2004 Presidential election than many of the current names being thrown around. One source who requested anonymity stated that “I think the squid has more charisma than Al Gore did in 2000, and it’s certainly better looking than Kerry.”

> Is the colossal squid actually Kodos?

> There are unconfirmed reports that Academy Award-winning actress Nicole Squidman has been seeing FOFC (and CSNN anchor) WSUCougar on an intimate basis. In response, CSNN PR Director Fritz was quoted as saying, “Nothing to it. They’re just friends.”

> Stay tuned…

[Fritz]

STCS

[WSUCougar]

Fritz - Any word yet on a release date for Colossal Squid Tycoon?

[Swaggs]

All your Colossal Squid belong to me me!

[Fidatelo]

Colossal Squid is so fuckin' money, and he doesn't even know it.

[Fritz]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Fritz - Any word yet on a release date for Colossal Squid Tycoon?

No, but the FPS Duke Colossal Squid is due out in June, SIMS - Colossal Squid is due out in July, and Lucas movie and toy series Squid Wars: Return of the Stuffed Cephalopod is expected to be a summer hit. My wife has Chicken Soup for the Colossal Squids Soul on backorder from Amazon.

The London Times reports that PETA activists are planning to chain themselves to Colossal Squid to prevent their harvest as a food source.

[SplitPersonality1]

Great stuff WSUCOugar.

This was my favorite

> There have been rumblings in some Democratic circles that the colossal squid would stand a better chance in the 2004 Presidential election than many of the current names being thrown around. One source who requested anonymity stated that “I think the squid has more charisma than Al Gore did in 2000, and it’s certainly better looking than Kerry.”

:D

[WSUCougar]

Your morning CSNN (Colossal Squid News Network) Update:

> Fox TV reports that they are considering a new program entitled "Deep Sea: CSI (Colossal Squid Investigations)." No casting decisions have been made, but word on the streets of Hollywood is that Rob Lowe is looking for work.

> Humvee is introducing a new amphibious SUV, the H2100-X4CS "Colossal Squid Edition." Base price will be around $85,000, although options (including the sperm whale alarm system) will boost the price.

> If/when they are unable to trade down, the Cincinatti Bengals are considering drafting the colossal squid "to solve all of their line problems." We also hear rumors that the New Orleans Saints will offer up all of their draft picks for the squid rights and that the Arizona Cardinals are also interested (Emmitt Smith is pressing for it, stating that he is sick of dealing with Alf and needs a new commercial side-kick).

> Poll of the day: Would the colossal squid make a good replacement Dixie Chick?

Stay tuned...

[Fritz]

Thanks WSUCougar.

did you get all of this from http://www.colossalsquidreport.com ?

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Fritz
Thanks WSUCougar.

did you get all of this from http://www.colossalsquidreport.com ?
I have no recollection of that, Senator.

CSNN...we have a tentacle on the pulse of the colossal squid nation.

[Alan T]

The Iraqi Information Minister made a statement earlier today that the Colossal Squid has not reached Baghdad, any reports of such is false.

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Alan T
The Iraqi Information Minister made a statement earlier today that the Colossal Squid has not reached Baghdad, any reports of such is false.
...this is, of course, due to the Colossal Squid's advanced stealth technology.

CSNN's own Geraldo Rivera, who is "embedded" with the Colossal Squid, reports that it is, in fact, in Baghdad, and apparently "partying like it's 1999." By the way, following his much-heralded apology for Pentagonal misbehavior, Geraldo did a thorough search of the Colossal Squid for Al Capone's safe, but (again) found nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Also, in breaking news, we have confirmed sightings of a squid-related quote-of-the-moment at FOFC!

Stay tuned...

[Fritz]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
...this is, of course, due to the Colossal Squid's advanced stealth technology.

CSNN's own Geraldo Rivera, who is "embedded" within the Colossal Squid


get it right cub reporter.

[Fritz]

Any current news WSUCougar?

[QuikSand]

Now, I might be confusing the two (the supposedly unrelated giant squid and colossal squid), but I recall hearing that no human being had ever seen a giant squid alive, which I found to be fascinating. (I guess it's just a function of the depth at which they live)

Does that statement more properly belong to the colossal squid, perhaps? Or to both?

I also think it's more impressive to say, "No human being has ever seen a giant squid... and lived to tell about it."

[WSUCougar]

Originally posted by Fritz
Any current news WSUCougar?
…yes there is, Fritz. And good morning.

Stunning news from our Hollywood bureau; representatives for Tori Spelling have announced that despite several suggestive media statements that have been made, she is in no way, shape, or form related to the Colossal Squid.

Playing off the Colossal Squid’s meteoric rise in popularity (as well as a CSNN poll which shows Gilbert Brown comparisons are intriguing), McDonalds is considering a buddy-style commercial for their Super Sized Extra Value Meals. Theoretically, Gilbert Brown would do the talking, while the Colossal Squid would eat a Super-Sized Filet-o-Fish Extra Value Meal and then start eyeing up Gilbert’s Double Quarter-Pounder meal with his dinner-plate sized eyes.

In related news, the Colossal Squid may go in on a partnership business deal with the Enormous Octopuss for a number of eateries called “Suckers.” The restaurants, patterned after the famed “Hooters” chain, will feature cephalapod waitresses wearing provocative outfits that highlight their tentacles.

(CSNN would like to acknowledge that esteemed FOFC colleague Quiksand has plunged into the fierce Colossal/Giant Squid debate. Look for a dynasty soon…)

[Fritz]

http://www.buffworks.com/bw/fof/iraqsquid.jpg

[WSUCougar]

Great image, Fritz. Now if you can round up one of the Colossal Squid marching through the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, we'll be set.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Breaking news: In hopes of generating better revenue as a small-market team (and thus paying for Tejada's pending "colossal" contract - get it?), the Oakland A's have sold the rights to their ballpark, which will henceforth be known as "Colossal Squid Stadium Across from San Francisco."

[Fidatelo]

This is my favorite thread ever

[Fritz]

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Great image, Fritz. Now if you can round up one of the Colossal Squid marching through the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, we'll be set.


I think this was taken during a goodwill tour with the Harlem Globetrotters and the late Dave Thomas of Wendy's.

http://www.buffworks.com/bw/fof/squidadt.jpg

[WSUCougar]

Fritz is the heavy favorite for the 2003 CSNN "Golden Beak" Award for that one, folks. *applause*

[Fritz]

This just in: The Colossal Squid did not mean to go to France at all. He was headed to Belgium for some trappest ale but got sidetracked in Amsterdam. Our friend the squid now knows that herbal cigarettes are nothing like herbal tea.

[NoMyths]

Trappist ale!

[AnalBumCover]

Has anyone thought of a name for our friend, the Colossal Squid?

I vote for Squiggy.

[Fritz]

ABC, I think his name is Colossal Squid.

[Qwikshot]

Originally posted by Fritz
ABC, I think his name is Colossal Squid.

There should be a hattrick team called Colossal Squid, it would be the best of both worlds...the emblem should be of Colossal Squid toppling a Saddam Hussein statue, then all would be well in the world.

[WSUCougar]

Qwik: How do you know there's not a Hattrick team called "Colossal Squid" or the Colossal Squids? ;)

As for names, "Colossal Squid" just has that classic ring to it. Why mess with success?

But then there's that little bitty part of me that wants to name him Squid Pro Quo...

[WSUCougar]

Representatives from the Colossal Squid have announced that C.S. is cutting a new rap album, tentatively titled Squid Diesel. CSNN has an exclusive cut from the CD:

My name is squid.
I’m just a kid.
Check out my lid –
Take a peak, I’m a freak, ya I have a massive beak.

I eat kelp.
Can’t help myself.
I’m a pimp for da shrimp.
I’m a seafood whore, swoopin’ down the ocean floor.

(wokkawokkawokkawokkawokka)

I hate whales.
Their spouts n’ tails.
Ain’t no fluke, they really make me wanna puke.
Dissin’ sea-life without fail.

Freakin’ sperms - they are my germs.
And then there’s orcas.
They’re like New Yorkers, motherf*ckin’ porkers
No humpbacks, just jump back.

(wokkawokkawokkawokkawokka)

I am for-mid-able.
Creature con-sid-er-able.
Colossal in-di-vidual.
Don’t make me irr-it-able.

Move over, Vanilla Ice...

[Fidatelo]

I think the key here is that we all keep this in mind for the next time a professional sports franchise has a "name the team" contest. Just like that baseball team that became the "Isotopes" last year, I think it would be awesome if one day the AA affilate of some baseball team was the "Cleveland Colossal Squids" or something.

[Fidatelo]

Dola...

WSUCougar, that rap is an instant classic! :D

Too bad it's too big for quote of the moment...

EDIT: The smiley was in the wrong place.

[Fritz]

well done wsucougar. You are indeed the songwriter to the squid.

[WSUCougar]

And so, as the fervor over the Colossal Squid began to fade, and the cheering echoed into silence, FOFC returned to its daily routine.

Someday...when you least it expect it...Colossal Squid will be back. Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

*cue final music from the movie Halloween*

[Bee]

Maybe we can get Skydog to rap the song and make an mp3. :D

[Fidatelo]

DETROIT, Michigan (CSNN) -- Tragedy struck the Detroit Red Wings in game 1 of their playoff series against the Anaheim Mighty Ducks last night, when captain Steve Yezerman was severely injured in freak accident involving a Colossal Squid.

Yzerman was injured midway through the first period when fans in a section near the ice heaved a Colossal Squid over the glass. The Colossal Squid, which weighs over 300lbs, landed directly in front of Yzerman as he sped through the neutral zone. The ensuing collision was described by teammate Brett Hull as "the fiercest check in NHL history; Scott Stevens could take lessons from that Squid". Wings' Coach Dave Lewis referred to the Squid as a "formidable presence, Stevie had no chance on the play".

Nine ticket holders in section 37b are currently being held for questioning in the incident. It took all of them to heave the giant beast onto the ice. A fan sitting nearby described the incident as "surreal".

"My wife and I, we're just sitting there watching the game, and the next thing I know half the section is on their feet, struggling to heave this giant cephalopod over the boards. They really struggled with it, it probably took them about 45 seconds or more to get it over. Some of them kept getting tangled in it's tentacles, and there were a lot of people yelling 'my hands are slipping! This thing is really slippery!'. So anyways, they heave this thing over, and it slides right down the glass onto the ice and just levels Stevie Y!"

Red Wings fans have frequently tossed Octopi onto the ice in the playoffs, but this is the first time a Squid, Colossal or otherwise, has been used.

Officials for the team were most perplexed as to how the giant creature was able to get into the building without being seen, given that it is over 16 feet in length and unearthly in appearance. This mystery was resolved by another fan in attendance, however.

"He just used the 'Turtle Disguise'" said lifelong Wings fan Joe Durby. "He wore a trench coat and a big hat, it was pretty much the same thing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles used to do to be able to walk around the city undetected, to you know, go see movies and stuff."

Durby said he first noticed the Colossal Squid when walking through the arena before the game. "It's hat fell off, and I looked over and I was like 'Holy Christ! That dude is a frickin' Colossal Squid!'. I tried to follow him, but he put his hat back on and I lost him in the crowd."

Interestingly, the current whereabouts of the Colossal Squid are unknown. Officials said that while everyone was attending to Yzerman the Squid "just sort of slipped away. We don't even have any camera footage of it leaving, everyone had their eyes on Steve."

Locals are asked to keep their eyes peeled for anything suspicious and "about 16 feet long".

[Draft Dodger]

I was coming here for the sole purpose of connecting the Red Wings and Colossal Squid - Fidatelo beat me by 10 minutes. Great minds think alike...

(I was going to have Colossal Squid destroy the city of Detroit after becoming enraged at seeing an octopus sacrificed during the game).

[Fidatelo]

Sorry DD :(

I've been dreaming of that post for 3 days though, just waiting patiently until the Wings finally played :)

[Fidatelo]

dola...

I just re-read my last post and I think I might be just a little obsessed. :D

[WSUCougar]

And so, squid-like, this thread emerges from the inky depths...

Originally posted by WSUCougar
Someday...when you least it expect it...Colossal Squid will be back. Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

*cue final music from the movie Halloween*

Told ya! :D

[Fidatelo]

It's about time someone brought this thread back. I wanted to do it myself a couple days ago, but that would have been a double-dola and I'm not sure I'm experienced enough for that yet.

[Fritz]

I was going to do this little flash movie as the into to a reality room mate show starring Andy M, Saddam, the Colossal Squid, and Oprah.

But I lost Andy's picture.

[JeeberD]

Sigh, and just when I was getting over my dreams...

[SplitPersonality1]

WSUCougar - Gamemaster & rap lyricist
Fidatello - very, very funny stuff


Long live the Colossal Squid!

[WSUCougar]

Now for a REAL hoot, check out THIS bulletin board:

Colossal Squid-related thread in a Science Forum (http://www.scienceforums.net/forums/showthread.php?threadid=909)

Jeez, and I thought we were a bunch of dorks. My god...


P.S. Their example of avatar use is a good case against having them here.

P.P.S. :D

[JeeberD]

Whoa, theys are smart...

[Fidatelo]

4 days without a reply? Your time is now Squidy; rise from the depths!!!

[WSUCougar]

***CSNN News Bulletin***

Don't be intimidated by the "formidable" aura of the Colossal Squid. This thread is open to any/all deep sea creature or other sightings that fall into the following descriptive categories:

colossal, massive, monstrous, mammoth, big, really big, really reallybig, huge, f*ckin' HUGE, large, extra large, XXL (etc.), giant, gigantic, immense, enormous, whopping* (*my personal favorite), great (the 2nd meaning), gargantuan, oversized, substantial, sizable, considerable, formidable, Fritz, cocky, or funny.

If you'd like for another descriptive term to be considered, please submit it here (or to Skydog or John Galt :D) for consideration.

Thank you.

[WSUCougar]

...I'd also like to offer up this thread as an uninhibited home to Colossal Squid-related QOTMs.

Just make sure they are formidable ones.

[Swaggs]

Welcome back Colossal Squid.

[WSUCougar]

Colossal Squid loves Friday afternoons.

[Fidatelo]

This bump's for you, couriers ;)

[WSUCougar]

Years from now you'll remember what you were doing during the Colossal Squid Renaissance...

[JeeberD]

Bumped so that SD can link to it on the reference page... :)

[Ben E Lou]

Originally posted by JeeberD
Bumped so that SD can link to it on the reference page... :) Will do right now.

[Qwikshot]

All hail the
Colossal Squid!

[Swaggs]

I missed the Colossal Squid...welcome home, buddy.

[SirFozzie]

The Return Of the Colossal Squid!

[WSUCougar]

I swear to God I am not making this stuff up. I've never even been to Palm Beach.

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you...

The Palm Beach Colossal Squid (Arena Football)

http://www.geocities.com/ffej979/kfs/PBCSLogo.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/ffej979/kfs/football.html

The Squidets
http://www.geocities.com/ffej979/kfs/PBCSSquidets.jpg


Official Merchandise

http://www.geocities.com/ffej979/kfs/footballapparel.html

Including the epic:

Inflateable Colossal Squid Bouncy Thingie

$3,217.99
Great for kids' birthday parties

http://www.geocities.com/ffej979/kfs/PBCSInflate.jpg

[Drake]

The Colossal Squid bears a striking resemblance to Lord Cthulhu (http://www.cthulhu.org/).

[JeeberD]

Is that somebody's team in a fantasy keeper league or something?

[Swaggs]

It is hard to believe that Colossal Squid is one-year old already.

[Bonegavel]

Stop squidding around, Fritz.

[corbes]

The Colossal Squid made the NY Times!

Sorta.

May 4, 2004

<NYT_HEADLINE version="1.0" type=" ">Giant Squid, Tall Tales and Truth

</NYT_HEADLINE><NYT_BYLINE version="1.0" type=" ">By HENRY FOUNTAIN
</NYT_BYLINE><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 align=right border=0><TBODY><TR><TD></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><NYT_TEXT>
http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/dropcap/w.gifith a length up to 75 feet, the giant squid, Architeuthis, is the largest invertebrate on earth. But it is also the most elusive. It has never been seen alive in its natural habitat.

As such, Architeuthis (pronounced ark-uh-TOOTH-us) has something of a mythical reputation. There has been speculation that the creatures live for decades, even a century, at depths of several thousand feet.

"No one really knows," said Dr. Neil H. Landman of the American Museum of Natural History. "In the ocean there are still mysteries, and this is one of them."

But research by Dr. Landman and colleagues from the State University of New York at Stony Brook and other institutions may help dispel some of the myths. Architeuthis, they say, may not be so long in the tooth, and reports of its depth may be greatly exaggerated.

The researchers studied one of the squid's smallest features, a bonelike particle called a statolith that is not much larger than a grain of sand. Statoliths, which are found in the squid's head and help it maintain equilibrium, grow through the buildup of calcium carbonate in discrete rings.

Dr. Landman analyzed isotopes of oxygen in statoliths from three southern giant squid, Architeuthis sanctipauli, from the Pacific Ocean. Like all specimens, these were caught in fishing nets or washed ashore. The proportion of isotopes gives an indication of the water temperature the squid lived in, and temperature can be related to depth.

In the analysis, reported in the journal Marine Biology, Dr. Landman found that the squid lived at depths of 600 to 1,000 feet. While he noted that those figures are not definitive, they are a far cry from 2,000 to 3,000 feet, as some scientists have thought.

The statoliths were also analyzed for carbon-14, a legacy of atmospheric weapons tests. Carbon-14 in the Pacific increased from the 1950's to about 1980, then began a well-documented decline. By analyzing carbon-14 ratios, the researchers were able to calculate an age for the squid: 14 years or less.

Normal squid reach full size in a matter of months ("They're the broiler chickens of the sea," Dr. Landman said), so some scientists had thought that giant squid might grow as fast.

Dr. Landman said he thought the giants add heft relative rapidly, though not at the pace of their cousins. After all, he said, "it's hard to imagine something growing that big so quickly."

[corbes]

dola-

I want to change my screen name to Architeuthis. Or maybe Ark-uh-TOOTH-us.

[Coffee Warlord]

That squid is only giant. Not colossal.

Giant Squid = Pussy Squid
Colossal Squid = The Shit

[corbes]

Yes but the NY Times plays everything down. We all know what they're REALLY talking about.

Edit -- The colossal squid, albeit only a juvenile, was only 16 feet. These are 75.

[Coffee Warlord]

They killed the poor Colossal Squid before he could ever reach his prime. It was truly a tragic day for all of us.

That Colossal Squid will never grow up to reign supreme over the lesser giant squids.

[corbes]

I was remiss in not including the accompanying graphic:


http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/05/04/science/04squi.583.jpg
Yes, that is from the New York Times. I love the deep-sea diver.

Edit: Also, the floorlighting is stunning.

[KevinNU7]

Call me when they find a squid qith laser blasters

[Rizon]

Why you people gotta be racist against my people.

[Bonegavel]

Squid pro quo (skwhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/ibreve.gifdhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gif prhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/omacr.gif kwhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/omacr.gifhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gif)
-n

an equal exchange of squids

Colossal Squid pro quo (ko lass ul skwhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/ibreve.gifdhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gif prhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/omacr.gif kwhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/omacr.gifhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/AHD4/GIF/prime.gif)
-n pl Colossal Squid pro quos

an equal exchange of Colossal squids

[John Galt]

LOL.

[Surtt]

Someone has pulled the plug on

http://www.colossalsquidreport.com

Is there something we don't know about?

[WSUCougar]

"They're the broiler chickens of the sea," Dr. Landman said.I guess you've got to be a marine biologist to understand just WTF this means. ;)

[Calis]

Has this been mentioned? I was just looking up some info on Adult Swim and saw news of a new show in the works...


• Squidbillies: Five million years ago, the Atlantic Ocean covered North America all the way to the Ohio Valley. As the ocean receded to form our present-day geography, a family of squids was stranded in a remote setting in the North Georgia mountains. This motley melange of mischievous mollusks, influenced by the rural ways of the redneck locals, quickly “adapticise” to a world of fighting, feuding and fornicating with a Faulknerian flambé of ferocious sea creature livin’. The humor lies in the “adapticization.” A pilot for Squidbillies is currently in production; seven episodes are scheduled to air this fall.

I don't see this one lasting long, but hey..I'm all for more Squid-related programming on TV.

[JeeberD]

But are they colossal?

[corbes]

Here's your Giant Squid sighting (http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?040524fa_fact1) of the day...this time from the New Yorker. Article is really, really long, so just a glimpse posted here.

THE SQUID HUNTER
by DAVID GRANN
Can Steve O’Shea capture the sea’s most elusive creature?
Issue of 2004-05-24
Posted 2004-05-17
On a moonless January night in 2003, Olivier de Kersauson, the French yachtsman, was racing across the Atlantic Ocean, trying to break the record for the fastest sailing voyage around the world, when his boat mysteriously came to a halt. There was no land for hundreds of miles, yet the mast rattled and the hull shuddered, as if the vessel had run aground. Kersauson turned the wheel one way, then the other; still, the gunwales shook inexplicably in the darkness. Kersauson ordered his crew, all of whom were now running up and down the deck, to investigate. Some of the crew took out spotlights and shone them on the water, as the massive trimaran—a three-hulled, hundred-and-ten-foot boat that was the largest racing machine of its kind, and was named Geronimo, for the Apache warrior—pitched in the waves.

Meanwhile, the first mate, Didier Ragot, descended from the deck into the cabin, opened a trapdoor in the floor, and peered through a porthole into the ocean, using a flashlight. He glimpsed something by the rudder. “It was bigger than a human leg,” Ragot recently told me. “It was a tentacle.” He looked again. “It was starting to move,” he recalled.

He beckoned Kersauson, who came down and crouched over the opening. “I think it’s some sort of animal,” Ragot said.

Kersauson took the flashlight, and inspected for himself. “I had never seen anything like it,” he told me. “There were two giant tentacles right beneath us, lashing at the rudder.”

The creature seemed to be wrapping itself around the boat, which rocked violently. The floorboards creaked, and the rudder started to bend. Then, just as the stern seemed ready to snap, everything went still. “As it unhooked itself from the boat, I could see its tentacles,” Ragot recalled. “The whole animal must have been nearly thirty feet long.”

The creature had glistening skin and long arms with suckers, which left impressions on the hull. “It was enormous,” Kersauson recalled. “I’ve been sailing for forty years and I’ve always had an answer for everything—for hurricanes and icebergs. But I didn’t have an answer for this. It was terrifying.”

What they claimed they saw—a claim that many regarded as a tall tale—was a giant squid, an animal that has long occupied a central place in sea lore; it has been said to be larger than a whale and stronger than an elephant, with a beak that can sever steel cables....

[WSUCougar]

Hey, it may be giant, it may be enormous...but it ain't colossal. Don't compromise.

[corbes]

Hey, it may be giant, it may be enormous...but it ain't colossal. Don't compromise.
F***ing elitist.

[WSUCougar]

Thank god it wasn't colossal...
Goblin shark caught off Australia

A fisheries research team has caught a rare Goblin shark off Australia. The fish is the first one caught in over 20 years.

According to The Mercury, CSIRO shark biologist Ross Daley said that the team became very excited when they spotted the fish among a haul of deepwater blue grenadier.

"Chris said he had never seen anything like it in 20 years of fishing. He was laughing and shaking his head. We believe it to be a terribly exciting find."

"We could spend $2,000,000 trying to search the ocean for one of these and have no guarantees of finding anything."

"At this point we know very little about the species -- we are blessed with the opportunity to study it.

"Goblin sharks are bottom-dwellers, swimming hundreds of metres below the 1000m depth where fisherman fish to.

"It is not known why this one was found swimming inside that range."

The rare shark, Mitsukurina owstoni, looks like nothing else you'll have seen before in the fish world. The fish, which grows to about 3-4m, has a flappy body and a long pointed snout.
http://home.hetnet.nl/~martijn88/Haaien/Goblin%20shark.jpg

[Fritz]

you dredged the thread up for this?

[Sun Tzu]

It had to be you, wonderful you. It had to be you.

[CraigSca]

Wow, a shark with a built-in shiv coming out out of it's head. What will they think of next?

[CraigSca]

The fish, which grows to about 3-4m, has a flappy body and a long pointed snout.

Dola, I think I took this fish to the prom.

[WSUCougar]

Dola, I think I took this fish to the prom.
Gold.

[-Mojo Jojo-]

Invasion of giant squid:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4193409.stm

[Swaggs]

Invasion of giant squid:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4193409.stm

If it ain't colossal, it ain't news.

[Desnudo]

Toothfish

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200311/r11791_28106.jpg

[BigJohn&TheLions]

False alarm...

It was just Star Jones (easiy to see why they mistook her for a freak 400 lb female with sharp clawed tentacles...

http://www.jamiesway.com/star.JPG

[Fonzie]

It appears that the Colossal Squid Movement (tm) and their sympathizers have begun a PR campaign. Designed, no doubt, to familiarize us and make us comfortable with the concept of Squid Domination.

http://store.muledesign.com/images/squid_m.gif

You can hedge your bets and appear to be on their side when the invasion begins by purchasing this lovely product here: hxxp://store.muledesign.com/detail/squid_m.html

[mhass]

http://community.discovery.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/93110835/m/811109993/p/1

I don't know where to start with the above message board. But the colossal squid is taking some from some colossal geeks. Here is one example:


[/url]
[url="javascript:void(0)"]hippobullshark (javascript:void(0))
Member
Registered: 11-29-04
http://community.discovery.com/infopop/blank.gif (http://community.discovery.com/eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/93110835/m/811109993/r/967105464#967105464) Posted <script>document.write('<nobr>'+ myTimeZone('Sun, 05 Dec 2004 22:29:23 GMT-0800', '12-06-04 01:29 AM')+'</nobr>');</script><nobr>12-06-04 12:29 AM</nobr> <noscript>12-06-04 01:29 AM</noscript> <nobr>http://community.discovery.com/infopop/blank.gif (javascript:void(0);)http://community.discovery.com/infopop/blank.gif (http://community.discovery.com/eve/ubb.x?a=ma&m=967105464&t=811109993&f=93110835)</nobr>
Except Colossal Squid vs. Sperm Whale. I thought the Sperm Whale would win, bit I was thinking more of a rip opponent limb from limb victory.


Someone should hop in there and defend our great squid.

[CraigSca]

Oddly enough, my wife and I were talking about an animal vs. animal simulation while nodding off to sleep the other night. One of those, it sure seemed funny at the time discussions.

Anyway...she wanted to see thinks like, a poodle vs. a dolphin. That got me to thinking that you could write a program to simulate it, then create leagues, have best of three series (on land, air and water). Anyway...fortunately for all mankind we both fell asleep. I didn't realize people argue about this crap on messageboards.

[WSUCougar]

Wikipedia...C.S. has made the big time.
The Colossal Squid (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni), sometimes called the Antarctic or Giant Cranch Squid, is believed to be the largest squid species, and the only member of the genus Mesonychoteuthis. Current estimates put its maximum size at 14 meters (46 feet), based on analysis of smaller and immature specimens, making it the largest known invertebrate.

Biology
Unlike the various giant squid species whose tentacles are equipped with suckers lined with small teeth, the tentacles of the Colossal Squid are tipped with a fierce mixture of suckers and swiveling hooks. Its body is wider and stouter, and therefore heavier, than that of the giant squid. Colossal Squids are believed to have a longer mantle than giant squids, although their tentacles are shorter.

The beak of Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni is the largest known of any squid, exceeding that of Architeuthis in size and robustness. The Colossal Squid is also believed to have the largest eyes in the animal kingdom (even larger than those of giant squid).

The squid's known range extends thousands of miles northward from Antarctica to southern South America, southern South Africa, and the southern tip of New Zealand, making it primarily an inhabitant of the entire circumantarctic Southern Ocean.

While little is known about the life of this creature, it is believed to hunt prey such as chaetognatha and squid in the deep ocean using bioluminescence. Based on capture depths of a few specimens, as well as beaks found in sperm whale stomachs, the adult squid ranges at least to a depth of 2200 m, while juveniles can go as deep as 1000 m.

The squid's method of reproduction has not been observed, although some data on their reproduction can be inferred from anatomy. Since males lack an organ called a hectocotylus (a tentacle used in other cephalopods to transfer a spermatophore to the female), they probably use a penis instead, which would be used to directly implant sperm into females.

Many Sperm whales carry scars on their backs believed to be caused by the hooks of Colossal Squid. Colossal Squid are a major prey item for Antarctic sperm whales feeding in the Southern Ocean; 14% of the squid beaks found in the stomachs of these sperm whales are those of the Colossal Squid, which indicates that Colossal Squid make up 77% of the biomass consumed by these whales.[1] Many other animals also feed on this squid, including the beaked whales (such as the bottlenose whales), Pilot Whale, Southern Elephant Seal, Patagonian toothfish, Pacific sleeper shark, and albatross (e.g., the Wandering and Sooty albatrosses). However, beaks from mature adults have only been recovered from those animals large enough to take such prey (i.e., the sperm whale and Pacific sleeper shark), while the remaining predators are limited to eating juveniles or young adults.

This species was first discovered in 1925, in the form of two tentacles found in the stomach of a sperm whale. In the 1970s a Russian trawler in the Ross Sea, off the coast of Antarctica, caught a large squid with a total length of 13 feet (see image at top), which was later identified as an immature female of Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni. In 2003, a complete specimen was found near the surface with a total length of 6 m (20 feet) and a mantle length of 2.5 m (8 feet). On June 25, 2005, a specimen was captured at a depth of 1625 m while taking a toothfish from a longline off South Georgia Island. Although the mantle was not brought aboard, the mantle length was estimated at over 2.5 m (8 feet), and the tentacles measured 230cm. The animal is thought to have weighed between 150 and 200 kg.[2]

Notes
^ Clarke, M.R. (1980). "Cephalopoda in the diet of sperm whales of the southern hemisphere and their bearing on sperm whale biology". Discovery Reports 37: 1-324.
^ "Very Rare Giant Squid Caught Alive" South Georgia Newsletter

External links
CephBase: Colossal Squid
Giant Squid and Colossal Squid Fact Sheet from TONMO.com
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltomi at the Tree of Life web project
Colossal Squid Caught in Antarctic Waters
Super squid surfaces in Antarctic

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossal_Squid"

[WSUCougar]

dola

I was testing my thread-moving mod powers and this seemed a likely candidate. Pardon the interruption.

[wade moore]

dola

I was testing my thread-moving mod powers and this seemed a likely candidate. Pardon the interruption.

f'n elitist.

[Fidatelo]

I choose this one.

[st.cronin]

Outstanding.

[korme]

lol

[korme]

In two years when this gets bumped again, no one will get Fidatelo's joke.

[TargetPractice6]

In two years when this gets bumped again, no one will get Fidatelo's joke.

I don't get it now. :(

[Fidatelo]

I can't explain it in this thread or it will invalidate Shorty's post. You'll have to P.M. someone for an explanation, or maybe start a seperate thread.

[Coffee Warlord]

Or perhaps a poll.

[st.cronin]

Wait, it was a joke? I was hoping the game had started.

[Fidatelo]

Well if it started I think I'm winning.

[WSUCougar]

Coming up on its 10-year anniversary.

[Fidatelo]

Well it wasn't 2 years, but 5 years later and even I don't get my own joke.

[Coffee Warlord]

Years from now you'll remember what you were doing during the Colossal Squid Renaissance...

Sorry WSU, but no, I do not remember what I was doing during the Colossal Squid Renaissance.

[MIJB#19]

So much in this thread and all I can think of: Yzerman is supposed to be spelt IJzerman. :redface:

[cartman]

How Scientists Captured the First-Ever Video of a Giant Squid | Mental Floss (http://www.mentalfloss.com/article/48573/how-scientists-captured-first-ever-video-giant-squid)