Vent Time

[Ben E Lou]

OK, as I've mentioned, I'm leading a trip with 90+ high school kids out to Colorado that leaves next week. Last week, we held a parent meeting at which I asked (with well over 2 months' notice) that every student attend with at least one parent. At said meeting, I handed out a *detailed* packing list that has been refined over doing this type of trip for around 15 summers in a row, and the very next day mailed that list to those who didn't attend. When you're dealing with 90 families and have a staff of one full-time person and one part-time secretary, you make sure that you cover EVERY base in such a handout, because the last thing you want is for you and your part-time secretary to spend the final 2 weeks before the trip fielding the same phone calls 90+ times, right? So, one would THINK that if the very detailed packing list did not mention the need to bring a sleeping bag, then one is not necessary, wouldn't one???? But oh no, not the parents in MY community, thank you very much. I got FIVE phone calls ON MY MOBILE PHONE today from moms asking "Do they need a sleeping bag? I didn't see it anywhere on the sheet." (This is not to mention the ones that have come on the office line.) Y'all cannot imagine how much I wanted to respond, "By your calling me, it clearly shows that you think I'm incompetent at doing my job, even though you are well aware that I've led this trip and similar ones for 15ish years. Otherwise, you would understand that if it says NOWHERE on the sheet that your child needs a sleeping bag, YOUR CHILD DOESN'T NEED A SLEEPING BAG YOU NINCOMPOOP!!!!" :mad:

Furthermore, here is the direct text from one section of the handout:
HEALTH AND CONSENT FORMS <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

The health and consent form must be filled out and signed by your parent or guardian. You will not be able to board the bus unless we have these in hand. Please make sure you have included the name of your insurance company and your policy number. You must also fill in all the dates of your immunizations as closely as possible on the health form. For these forms to be valid, we need all of the above information, as well as a parental or guardian signature, and a doctor’s signature. This is required by Colorado State Law.<o:p></o:p>

Adding to that, here is a similar section from a letter that I had mailed to everyone back in March:
1. Health Form and Parental Consent Form. Parents, please complete and sign the enclosed health and consent forms. Make sure you include the name of your insurance company and your policy number. You must have the health form signed by a physician for it to be effective for this trip. Please note that the doctor’s signature is a non-negotiable. It is a Colorado State Law. Also, please make sure you include all the asked for medical information, including immunization dates and shots. These forms are due by the pre-camp meeting on May 13<SUP>th</SUP>.<o:p></o:p>

Apparently, I did a poor job of communicating in both the March letter and the May handout. I can only assume that I wasn't clear enough because of the 15-20 phone calls I've gotten from adults asking if they could sign their child's form, or if it needed a doctor's signature. :mad:

Actually, I think it is a general problem with reading comprehension (or just lack of paying attention). I put the handout in their hands, then went over it line-by-line, and I still got the following questions when I was finished at the end:



Can I get an address and phone number for the hotel in Denver? (That information is listed TWICE on the handout, once in the "itinerary" section and again in the "how you can be reached" section.

Where are they staying on Thursday night? ("Leave from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Tucker</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType>High School</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> side parking lot. BE THERE AT <st1:time Hour="19" Minute="0">7:00PM</st1:time>. Please eat before you come. We will NOT be stopping for dinner along the way. We will be spending Thursday night on the bus.")

Can we reach you by cell phone when the kids are at camp in case of emergency? ("Crooked Creek Ranch is in a remote area, and there is no cell phone coverage there.")


I could go on, but y'all get the point by now, I'm sure. We gathered them all in one place at one time and gave them one handout so that we wouldn't have to answer the same questions over and over and over again for 90 different families. I am wondering if the time and effort that we put into that meeting was a waste.

OK. That's my vent-o-the-week. Thanks for letting me say the things I can't say in my community, 'cause if I did I probably wouldn't be able to raise the money to keep this non-profit goin'. :D


--Ben

[SplitPersonality1]

Hey SkyDog, does my child need a sleeping bag for this trip?

[quickly ducks]

[Ben E Lou]

Hey SkyDog, does my child need a sleeping bag for this trip?

[quickly ducks]:D

I'm heading over to the Tucker spring football game in a few, and I'll see many parents whose kids are going on the trip. If I get asked that question while I'm there, I might just snap.

[Calis]

Let me just make sure everyone knows it's never ok to call anyone a nincompoop under any circumstances....ever.

[Franklinnoble]

Can I be in charge around here while you're gone?

[digamma]

:D

I'm heading over to the Tucker spring football game in a few, and I'll see many parents whose kids are going on the trip. If I get asked that question while I'm there, I might just snap.
On another note, let me know how the new QB looks.

[SplitPersonality1]

:D

I'm heading over to the Tucker spring football game in a few, and I'll see many parents whose kids are going on the trip. If I get asked that question while I'm there, I might just snap.

The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures taking 90 kids on a Colorado trip come wit'! :)

[BishopMVP]

Got ya on the sleeping bag thing. I hate when people (specifically my mom) would call or ask questions that have answers spelled out on the sheet.

PS - Any info on if the OOTP patch is in Beta?

[Ben E Lou]

On another note, let me know how the new QB looks.Seen him in spring practice four or five times. Very good. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being better than D.T. All indications are that he is FAR more coachable. :)

Heading over there now...

--Ben

[Draft Dodger]

you couldn't pay me enough to take a bus trip with 90 high school kids.

[LionsFan10]

People are just fucking stupid, I'll tell you that. SkyDog this does not surprise me one bit that people are too stupid, or simply don't have the attention span to sit through a meeting involving their kid. I'm not even you, SkyDog and I got aggitated just reading about these idiots.

Not surprising in the least, though. I'm amazed that you have put that much faith in people to begin with, 'Dog.

[BishopMVP]

you couldn't pay me enough to take a bus trip with 90 high school guys.Fixed it for ya.

[Poli]

My dad wouldn't have asked. He would have just signed his name as if he was a doctor. :)

[Ben E Lou]

Seen him in spring practice four or five times. Very good. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being better than D.T. All indications are that he is FAR more coachable. :)

Heading over there now...

--BenJust checking in quick. Heading to post-game cookout. Things looked *very* promising. It should be a good year.

On another note, digamma, I must admit that I caught myself looking for your dad more than once during spring practice. It really isn't right without him. I've been around Tucker football for eight years now. I think he and Roman were the only ones that have been there the entire time. :(

[Ben E Lou]

My dad wouldn't have asked. He would have just signed his name as if he was a doctor. :)No kidding. The wording of the handout should make the intent clear as a bell: "Look, this isn't our deal. We're just complying with state law by having these suckers on file. We're not obligated to check every stinkin' signature to see if it is an authentic doctor's signature." :)

[GrantDawg]

I wouldn't take a co-ed group of 90 kids anywhere. A group of all boys or all girls are 100% easier to deal with IMHO than a group of coed kids, even if it is half the number. Put boys and girls over 11 together and they lose their minds.

[Franklinnoble]

I wouldn't take a co-ed group of 90 kids anywhere. A group of all boys or all girls are 100% easier to deal with IMHO than a group of coed kids, even if it is half the number. Put boys and girls over 11 together and they lose their minds.
Must... resist... urge... to.... make... all... girls... remark...

[Fritz]

I will use the time SkyDog is away for <i>evil</i>

[Franklinnoble]

I will use the time SkyDog is away for evil
This is different from the time you spend while he is here?

[oykib]

I will use the time SkyDog is away for <i>evil</i>

How's that going to be different from the time he spends here?

[Fritz]

evil vs <i>evil</i>

[Fritz]

DAMN THESE HALF ASSED ITALICS

[digamma]

Just checking in quick. Heading to post-game cookout. Things looked *very* promising. It should be a good year.

On another note, digamma, I must admit that I caught myself looking for your dad more than once during spring practice. It really isn't right without him. I've been around Tucker football for eight years now. I think he and Roman were the only ones that have been there the entire time. :(
Thanks. I've got plans to be back in Atlanta for the Marist game this fall. I'm looking forward to it, but as you said, it just won't be right.

[MrBug708]

That's one heck of a drive for a camp....

[Ben E Lou]

MrBug:

Yup. It is actually part of the "magic" of the trip. It is a great relational time with kids. They always remember the "theme music", the various goofy incidents that happen when you show up at a restaurant in the middle of Kansas with a bunch of teenagers from metro Atlanta, and the sight of the majestic Rockies. This particular camp is at approximately 9,000 feet elevation, with a panaromic view of snow-covered peaks. Just gorgeous.

Digamma/others:

More impressions from spring practice and spring game (posting these in the Dynasty Thread as well...)

1. The kids were really playing hard and getting after it. In fact, the 2nd-team defense played with some SERIOUS fire for a while. B.Y. might not get hit as hard the entire regular season as two or three of the licks he took from the backups yesterday. Nice!

2. Rising Juniors Asher Allen and Mike Compton are both looking VERY, VERY good. Asher had a 70+ yard TD run. Looks like Tucker will return at least three D-1 backs next year. Scouts from several major colleges, there primarily because of B.Y. and Tavares, were asking spectators at practice about numbers 21 and 29. :)

3. I don't know where B.Y. is going to stack up nationally, but that boy seems to be getting a *lot* of attention.

4. There is a ton of enthusiasm and excitement around the program in general. There were more non-parents at the Spring Game than I've ever seen in the past, and several former Tigers who are now playing in college dotted the sidelines and the stands, from the small-timers like Robert Reese, Keon Slappy, etc. to blue-chipper Jabari Davis. I think the run to the Dome, followed by the January double tragedy, followed by having so many people present at Signing Day to see 12 kids commit, brought the community together around the football team like never before. Spectator attendance at Spring Practice was *much* higher than normal as well. That energy/closeness/bonding seems to be rubbing off on the kids. After the Spring Game, some good friends of ours had the entire team, all the coaches and a bunch of Tucker football supporters over for a pig pickin'. Over 100 kids in their yard eating BBQ, and visiting with each other and the adults who support them fervently. *GREAT* "family time."

5. I'm guessing that having 6 guys go D-1 this past year put Tucker "on the map" more with major colleges. There were WAY more scouts around than I've ever seen this spring--usually several different BCS Conference schools every time I was there.

6. It should be an interesting year in Georgia Class AAAA. Traditionally strong teams like Marist, Tucker and Thomas County Central all lost very strong senior classes. Shaw is dropping down to AAA, and Statesboro lost their head coach. Those five teams would have been pretty much everyone's top 5 at the end of this year, and shuffle 'em around a little and you'll get close to the top 5 in any given year in the recent past. A couple of solid AAAAA schools are dropping down to AAAA in Northside and Warner Robbins. We could see a big-time "changing of the guard" in the power structure. At the very least, we'll see some Dooley-esque poor-mouthing as Marist, Tucker, TCC and Statesboro supporters all talk publicly to each other about how much talent we've lost, and how we'll be lucky to go 7-3 this year, while privately we'll all still harbor Dome aspirations. :D

[Mota]

Skydog, I know what ya mean about people not reading your instructions.

I'm in sales and have over 300 customers but only have time to call down the top 20 or so on a regular basis, so a lot of my communication is done over email. But I swear that they read the "from" line, maybe 1-2 words in the text of the email and if it sounds interesting, call me for details (which are on the email).

Sometimes during the busy season I'll send over pre-order information, and in capital letters will say PLEASE EMAIL YOUR PRE-ORDERS TO ME so I can get help to enter the orders. Of course they all call. Unfortunately with it being a sales / customer relationship I can't say "If you actually read the email you would know that ..."

[cartman]

SkyDog,

You should hold the meeting in your front yard. You wear the star spangled speedos and strike the well known pose. You hold cards, ala the INXS video, containing the relevant info, and read the info off of the cards. If that doesn't make the info stick, I don't know what will.

:D

[Ben E Lou]

Unfortunately with it being a sales / customer relationship I can't say "If you actually read the email you would know that ..."Bingo. In my case, several of the parents in question are also donors.

Speaking of e-mail reminds me of another "people-don't-read" experience I've had more than a few times. For example, for this trip, we had an "early-bird special," meaning that if you signed up by a certain date, you got a small discount on the cost of the trip. In late November, I sent an e-mail out to every student and parent in my database announcing the basics of the trip (dates, cost, where we were going, etc.) I mentioned that details such as packing lists, forms, etc. would be forthcoming over the next several months, and I also mentioned that if they signed up by February 1st, the trip would cost X amount, but if they signed up after February 1st, the trip would cost Y amount. I got two e-mails back from different parents asking when the early-bird special was going to expire, and one asking IF we were going to do an early-bird special this year. :confused: In other words, these people apparently skimmed the e-mail, and responded via e-mail with questions that they were answered in the very e-mail to which they were replying. Making this even more comical (and tempting) to me was the fact that they all had the reply-quote text enabled--meaning that they sent an e-mail to me asking a question that was answered in the reply text. It took a good bit of self-restraint not to reply back by simply underlining the answer to their question in their own e-mails.... ;)

[Balldog]

I wouldn't take a co-ed group of 90 kids anywhere. A group of all boys or all girls are 100% easier to deal with IMHO than a group of coed kids, even if it is half the number. Put boys and girls over 11 together and they lose their minds.

Isn't that the truth.....Monday we had a bus ride in which the softball team rode the same bus. One of our players took a picture of his unit and shared it with a few members of the softball team. Not good, considering he was already suspended for one of our last two games....doubt he will play either game now. Nice way to end your senior baseball season.

[Ksyrup]

Do they refer to you as the HNIC? I think this may be the root of all of your problems. You're in charge, you wear star-spangled undies, and you play an acoustic guitar - who wouldn't come to you for answers to every question, even those already answered?

[BucDawg40]

SkyDog, this is clearly your fault. After all, you didn't have "pray that the parents won't call with stupid questions" on your prayer sheet. You have nobody to blame but yourself. :) Oh, well, there is always next year.

[Ben E Lou]

SkyDog, this is clearly your fault. After all, you didn't have "pray that the parents won't call with stupid questions" on your prayer sheet. You have nobody to blame but yourself. :) Oh, well, there is always next year.Today has been a good day so far. 10:15AM, and no dumb calls yet.

[Samdari]

10:15AM, and no dumb calls yet.

Scouring the internet white pages for your number. I can take care of the "no dumb calls" problem.

[Ben E Lou]

Scouring the internet white pages for your number. I can take care of the "no dumb calls" problem.Ack! Just broke the string. She called with two questions:

1. "The doctor's office hasn't returned the health form to me. Is it ok if I bring it to you early next week?"

(From an e-mail that she SAID she has read....)
HEALTH FORMS/CONSENT FORMS/BALANCES
If you haven't already, please turn these in before we leave. With so many people going, it could turn into a real logistical nightmare if many of you try to hand us this information at the bus.Hmmmm..is early next week before we leave??? YES!

2. My son is highly allergic to peanuts and I wanted to make sure that you let whatever adult is going to be in his cabin know that. He has blah blah blah medication with him if something happens. Can you make sure his cabin leaders know that?

(From the parent meeting handout) HIPPA ISSUES

Due to new regulations, only our Administratitve Assistant, the camp medical staff, and Ben will have access to the information on your health form. In the past, if there was a student with allergies, an inhaler, etc., Ben would have passed that information on to the student’s cabin leader. By law, he is no longer allowed to do that. The point is this: with over 90 students going on the trip, it is important that if you have health information about yourself that you think it would be important for your cabin leader to know, it is now up to the student or parent to pass that information along.



..and the beat goes on...

[GrantDawg]

HIPPA rules are so ridiculous.

[Glengoyne]

HIPPA rules are so ridiculous.
Sorry pet peeve. HIPAA(Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act).

Oh but I do agree wholeheartedly with your statement.

That said. What the hell kind of camp doesn't require a sleeping bag?:) I wouldn't have asked Ben, I just would have sent a bag with the kid. That said, it is not likely my kid would be actually leaving the parking lot, because I probably wouldn't have read the handout close enough to realize the a doctor needed to sign something.

[Samdari]

my kid would be actually leaving the parking lot, because I probably wouldn't have read the handout close enough to realize the a doctor needed to sign something.

Go to car, scribble on line.

Next problem.

[Ben E Lou]

Go to car, scribble on line.

Next problem.I need more kids with parents like you. :D

[cartman]

I need more kids with parents like you. :D

Taken out of context, that can sound REALLY bad... :D

[Ben E Lou]

That said. What the hell kind of camp doesn't require a sleeping bag?:) We try to give as "first-class" of a look as possible when kids arrive at camp. A bare mattress isn't nearly as appealing as a made-up bunk, done with hospital corners, with a blanket neatly folded at the foot of the bed. It makes a *much* better first impression. We want kids to know that we believe that they're very special in God's eyes, and that's one of many little things we do to attempt to communicate that truth.

[Ben E Lou]

My son is going on the Crooked Creek trip, and I had

some questions for you.

Our family doctor has unfortunately had to leave his

practice for a few months. While he is, well,

incarcerated, we're kinda stuck here because his

assistant won't sign anything without his insurance

board reviewing it. I don't think there's time.

My wife has a PhD in English from Emory. Is it okay if

she signs the form? She's technically a doctor.

You recommended drinking a half gallon of water each

day between now and the trip. Evian only gives its

size in ML. How many ML is in a half gallon?

Also, my son has some anger issues, and we've found

that allowing him three or four hours every evening

with his GameBoy and his favorite games (he's partial

to the Zelda series lately) does wonders for his sense

of well being. Is it okay if he takes his GameBoy to

camp? He'll promise to use his headphones. Would it

help if my wife signed a form for that as well?

Oh, one more question. Would you be so kind as to

drive the kids to an area that does have cell phone

reception each evening. Our dog, Snookie, is ailing a

bit, and our son just won't sleep unless he knows

Snookie is okay. We'd be happy to pay for the extra

gasoline.

Thank you so much,

Hardy Smith Someone on here needs to claim responsibilty for this. :D

[Ksyrup]

LOL!

[MrBug708]

We try to give as "first-class" of a look as possible when kids arrive at camp. A bare mattress isn't nearly as appealing as a made-up bunk, done with hospital corners, with a blanket neatly folded at the foot of the bed. It makes a *much* better first impression. We want kids to know that we believe that they're very special in God's eyes, and that's one of many little things we do to attempt to communicate that truth.


HA! Skydog has got their parents to sign them up for the Army!

[Samdari]

Incriminatingly stupid reply omitted.

[Franklinnoble]

Someone on here needs to claim responsibilty for this. :D[/size]
I only wish I'd thought of it first. :D

[Easy Mac]

http://www.he.net/fmttour/vent.jpg?

[Ben E Lou]

Yet another phone call on my mobile phone from a parent asking if I know what their balance due is. She called the office first. I wasn't here at the time, so she called the mobile. Lady, if I'm not in the office, I don't have the first stinkin' clue what you owe. They can't possibly think that I know the balances due for 92 kids, can they? Is it that they're so self-centered that they think, "Well, he probably doesn't know 'em all, but I'm sure he knows what MY baby owes!" ;)


I'll be so happy to get on that bus tomorrow night and only have to deal with 92 teenagers. Dealing with their parents is driving me crazy. :mad:

[WSUCougar]

Uh, Skydog? Got some bad news...
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http://www.losbanossports.com/timespartridge2.jpg

[Ksyrup]

SD, that's clearly a lack of attention to detail on your part. ;)

[Ben E Lou]

I don't have time to type this, but I'm going to type it anyway. I'm so frustrated right now that I can't get anything done for a few minutes anyway. A parent just left my office. I told her THREE TIMES (and my assistant confirms that I said exactly what I thought I said) that the forms she needed (yes, the ones that we mailed back in March, called to remind her of their tardiness, and re-mailed 2 weeks ago) were in an envelope in my mailbox at home, and she could grab them, fill them out, and bring them to my office. She walked in and we had the following conversation:

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Ben, I didn't see any forms anywhere near your back door!" I picked up the mat, looked all around, and even checked all over the yard to see if the wind had blown them away."

BEN: "Um, they are in my mailbox."

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Oh, I didn't know they were in the mailbox. {Her daughter's name} didn't tell me that."

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: "Well, I told your daughter on the phone last night when she called me at 11:30pm letting me know that you couldn't find the forms that I'd put them in my mailbox for you. Plus, I told YOU on the phone less than two hours ago at least three times that they were in my mailbox, because I specifically called you this morning wondering why when I left the house that the forms were still in the mailbox. You said were going to get them last night, remember??? Furthermore, if you were under the impression that the forms were somewhere outside my house, why in the name of Zeus's BUTTHOLE didn't you think to look in the mailbox??????!!!!!!!"

(Yes, I had time to think all of that as I stared at her in stunned silence for several moments.)

BEN: "Well, I have them on the computer here. I can print them out, but you'll still need the doctor's signature on the health form. "

OBTUSE MOTHER: "What??? I didn't know anything about any doctor's signature. We don't have time to do that by tonight!"

NOTE: At this point she is standing in front of my desk holding in her hand the document I've mentioned before in this thread. You know, the one that specifically talks about Colorado state law...

BEN: "Well, it is a Colorado law. She was a cheerleader, so she had to have a physical this year. If you run by Tucker, they'll have proof on file with a doctor's signature. That will suffice."

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Well, you really should have let us know that the form needed a doctor's signature."

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: #%*@$%&@(&$%!#($!!#$(%@*$%(@*$

BEN: "Well, we mailed a letter back in March with that information, and details about a pre-camp parent meeting that took place two weeks ago. We sent a follow-up letter to everyone who wasn't at that meeting, and it had a handout in it that also mentioned it. I'm sorry."

NOTE: She is still holding that very handout in her hand....

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Oh, I must have missed that. Well, I'm in a hurry now, 'cause we've got to pack and now we have to get this stupid form filled out. We'll see you tonight."

BEN: "OK, see you tonight!"

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: "...if you can manage to get your daughter there on time, which is definitely a huge question-mark in my mind, considering what I am observing right now."

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:


Oh, and yesterday when I got home from the office, there was a car sitting in my driveway. It was a mother and son. They needed to pay their balance and turn in their health forms. The mother commented, "I'm sorry this is so late, {her son's name} mentioned this morning that he wanted to start packing. I didn't realize y'all were leaving so soon!"

Yes, her 15-year-old son is going over halfway across the country for a week, and she didn't even know when he was going.

People amaze me.

[GrantDawg]

You should have written a dynasty. :)

[Samdari]

manage to get your daughter there on time

How long do you typically have to wait for these morons to get there?

Does your laptop have wireless internet? We need updates as the kids arrive delivered by stupid parents. I am actually to the point where I eagerly look for updates to this thread, it is so funny.

I wish I lived in Georgia (an unfamilar and uncomfortable feeling for me) so that I could show up in the parking lot and sign medical forms for $100 a pop.

[Ben E Lou]

How long do you typically have to wait for these morons to get there?

Does your laptop have wireless internet? We need updates as the kids arrive delivered by stupid parents. I am actually to the point where I eagerly look for updates to this thread, it is so funny.

I wish I lived in Georgia (an unfamilar and uncomfortable feeling for me) so that I could show up in the parking lot and sign medical forms for $100 a pop.If it wasn't going to be such a zoo at the bus, I live ALMOST close enough to THS to actually do this. I'd imagine that the wireless network in my home could be accessed within 200-300 yards of where the buses will be sitting. :p

[SplitPersonality1]

Folks don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures taking 90 kids on a Colorado trip come wit'!

Sorry. It just needed to be done again. :)

[Ben E Lou]

I don't have time to type this, but I'm going to type it anyway. I'm so frustrated right now that I can't get anything done for a few minutes anyway. A parent just left my office. I told her THREE TIMES (and my assistant confirms that I said exactly what I thought I said) that the forms she needed (yes, the ones that we mailed back in March, called to remind her of their tardiness, and re-mailed 2 weeks ago) were in an envelope in my mailbox at home, and she could grab them, fill them out, and bring them to my office. She walked in and we had the following conversation:

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Ben, I didn't see any forms anywhere near your back door!" I picked up the mat, looked all around, and even checked all over the yard to see if the wind had blown them away."

BEN: "Um, they are in my mailbox."

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Oh, I didn't know they were in the mailbox. {Her daughter's name} didn't tell me that."

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: "Well, I told your daughter on the phone last night when she called me at 11:30pm letting me know that you couldn't find the forms that I'd put them in my mailbox for you. Plus, I told YOU on the phone less than two hours ago at least three times that they were in my mailbox, because I specifically called you this morning wondering why when I left the house that the forms were still in the mailbox. You said were going to get them last night, remember??? Furthermore, if you were under the impression that the forms were somewhere outside my house, why in the name of Zeus's BUTTHOLE didn't you think to look in the mailbox??????!!!!!!!"

(Yes, I had time to think all of that as I stared at her in stunned silence for several moments.)

BEN: "Well, I have them on the computer here. I can print them out, but you'll still need the doctor's signature on the health form. "

OBTUSE MOTHER: "What??? I didn't know anything about any doctor's signature. We don't have time to do that by tonight!"

NOTE: At this point she is standing in front of my desk holding in her hand the document I've mentioned before in this thread. You know, the one that specifically talks about Colorado state law...

BEN: "Well, it is a Colorado law. She was a cheerleader, so she had to have a physical this year. If you run by Tucker, they'll have proof on file with a doctor's signature. That will suffice."

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Well, you really should have let us know that the form needed a doctor's signature."

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: #%*@$%&@(&$%!#($!!#$(%@*$%(@*$

BEN: "Well, we mailed a letter back in March with that information, and details about a pre-camp parent meeting that took place two weeks ago. We sent a follow-up letter to everyone who wasn't at that meeting, and it had a handout in it that also mentioned it. I'm sorry."

NOTE: She is still holding that very handout in her hand....

OBTUSE MOTHER: "Oh, I must have missed that. Well, I'm in a hurry now, 'cause we've got to pack and now we have to get this stupid form filled out. We'll see you tonight."

BEN: "OK, see you tonight!"

BEN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: "...if you can manage to get your daughter there on time, which is definitely a huge question-mark in my mind, considering what I am observing right now."

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:


Oh, and yesterday when I got home from the office, there was a car sitting in my driveway. It was a mother and son. They needed to pay their balance and turn in their health forms. The mother commented, "I'm sorry this is so late, {her son's name} mentioned this morning that he wanted to start packing. I didn't realize y'all were leaving so soon!"

Yes, her 15-year-old son is going over halfway across the country for a week, and she didn't even know when he was going.

People amaze me.I was doing a search for something else and came across this thread, and this post in particular had me, uh, reminiscing about that day. Let's have a little one-question multiple choice test, shall we????


Q: Which of the following statements are true about the child of Obtuse Mother mentioned in the "I-didn't-know-anything-about-any-doctor's-signature" incident above???

A. The student was late arriving to the bus.

B. The student did not have a doctor's signature on her form.

C. The student did not have a copy of her physical for cheerleading, which I told Obtuse Mother would have sufficed, despite the fact that we left from the parking lot of the very building where Obtuse Mother could have obtained a copy of said physical.

D. As the student and Obtuse Mother approached the bus, I noticed that Obtuse Mother was carrying.....you guessed it boys and girls......a sleeping bag.

E. During the week, the student came up to me and said, "Is there a way my mom can wire some money to me? You didn't tell us that it would be cold*, and I need to buy some clothes in the shop."

F. All of the above.


*--Another excerpt from the oft-mentioned, but apparently-unread document that mom was holding in her hand while bitching at me in my office:

WEATHER
Crooked Creek Ranch is located approximately 9,000 feet above sea level. Therefore the weather is extremely unpredictable, adn will often change rapidly. Be prepared for shorts-and-t-shirt wethaer, as well as jeans-and-sweatshirt wetaher. Yes, snow is a possibility.

[Shkspr]

I don't understand. How on earth was the student able to find you during the week from all the way across the country when you left her behind in Georgia because she didn't have a doctor's signature on her form or a copy of her physical? :)

The worst part of all of this is that Obtuse Mother will be the first one to badmouth your leadership skills because you did such a piss-poor job of preparing these kids for their trip. :)

[sterlingice]

This is one of my comedy highlights for the weekend. :D

(And anyone want to put odds on how many parents will have been strangled by the end of the week just through Ben's mind choking powers?)

SI

[stevew]

For some reason, this

D. As the student and Obtuse Mother approached the bus, I noticed that Obtuse Mother was carrying.....you guessed it boys and girls......a sleeping bag.

was freaking hilarious to me. Too bad this was a church trip and you couldnt tell her exactly where she needed to shove that sleeping bag.

[SunDevil]

1. People are idiots.

2. Because of number 1, you might want to post on the form next year in bold, that the student does not need a sleeping bag. Also you might want to provide a FAQ with the most common questions asked over the last two or three weeks. Not saying that is a guarantee that it will be read.

Have a safe trip.

[stevew]

This trip happened a couple of months ago?

And next year on the banned list, you should include

Fireworks
Cell Phones
Tobacco Products
Sleeping Bags
Pagers
Pornography

etc.....

[Ben E Lou]

I was doing a search for something else and came across this thread, and this post in particular had me, uh, reminiscing about that day. Let's have a little one-question multiple choice test, shall we????


Q: Which of the following statements are true about the child of Obtuse Mother mentioned in the "I-didn't-know-anything-about-any-doctor's-signature" incident above???

A. The student was late arriving to the bus.

B. The student did not have a doctor's signature on her form.

C. The student did not have a copy of her physical for cheerleading, which I told Obtuse Mother would have sufficed, despite the fact that we left from the parking lot of the very building where Obtuse Mother could have obtained a copy of said physical.

D. As the student and Obtuse Mother approached the bus, I noticed that Obtuse Mother was carrying.....you guessed it boys and girls......a sleeping bag.

E. During the week, the student came up to me and said, "Is there a way my mom can wire some money to me? You didn't tell us that it would be cold*, and I need to buy some clothes in the shop."

F. All of the above.


*--Another excerpt from the oft-mentioned, but apparently-unread document that mom was holding in her hand while bitching at me in my office:

WEATHER
Crooked Creek Ranch is located approximately 9,000 feet above sea level. Therefore the weather is extremely unpredictable, adn will often change rapidly. Be prepared for shorts-and-t-shirt wethaer, as well as jeans-and-sweatshirt wetaher. Yes, snow is a possibility.





I was so out of it when it happened last night that I forgot to mention it, but thought I would now.

Approximately 10:45pm yesterday, there's a knock on our side door. I'm in bed, asleep. SWMBO is in her pajamas, and about to come to bed. She decides to ignore the knock.

15 seconds later...another knock.

15 more seconds....another knock.

SWMBO comes to wake me up :mad:

SWMBO: "Honey, someone is knocking at the side door, and they keep knocking."

(Knock, knock, knock)

Ben: {Mumbles something incoherent}

(Knock, Knock, knock)

Ben: "Don't worry about it. They'll go away. It's probably {Obtuse Mother's Name} anyway."

(Knock, Knock, Knock) (I'm not exaggerating here. The rate of knocks increased to about 3-4 every 10 seconds.

SWMBO: "They're still knocking. It could be a kid with an emergency with a kid or something. You might want to answer it."

{Ben gets up, throws on clothes. Answers door.}

Obtuse Mother: "Oh hi, Ben. Oh, you look tired. I didn't wake you up, did I??? I'm sorry!"

Ben's Inner Monologue: Nah. You only knocked at my door, what, 10-15 times in a 2-minute-or-so period.

Ben: "Oh, It's ok. Is everything ok?" (thinking that SURELY she wants something urgent, considering how long she knocked)

Obtuse Mother: {Long and way-too-detailed story about why she didn't turn in a sign-up form for a trip that we're taking this summer in time to meet the deadline for the early-bird price break THREE weeks ago.}"... So, I've come to sign up {Little Precious's name}for the trip."


Hmmmm...you missed the price break deadline, and the next deadline isn't until April 1st, yet you thought it necessary to repeatedly bang on my door at dang near 11pm to get her signed up RIGHT NOW, even though you live, what, two, two-and-a-half minutes away from me?


Unfathomable. "Little Precious" is a really a sweet kid who could use lots of guidance (I guess that's obvious, considering her mom is a Grade-A fruitcake.) Part of me worries about her heading off to college next year. However, another part of me is very, very happy that, being the youngest and out of the age range to be involved in my ministry, she is my last link to Obtuse Mother.

[WSUCougar]

And thus the mystery of who jbmagic really is came to an end at last.

[kcchief19]

Unfathomable. "Little Precious" is a really a sweet kid who could use lots of guidance (I guess that's obvious, considering her mom is a Grade-A fruitcake.) Part of me worries about her heading off to college next year. However, another part of me is very, very happy that, being the youngest and out of the age range to be involved in my ministry, she is my last link to Obtuse Mother.I'd worry about her heading off to college too, but at the same time it sounds like she needs to get away from Obtuse Mother and spread her wings.

Fly, Little Precious! Fly!

[kcchief19]

And thus the mystery of who jbmagic really is came to an end at last.Could jbmagic be Little Precious and Obtuse Mother be Jennifer Winter?

[Drake]

Heh. I'm moving to Georgia when my kids are old enough to be one of Ben's kids.

[She Who Must Be Obeyed]

I would just like to add that the same young lady in question is the one who was deeply confused when she learned that we were not getting off our raft at the same place that we launched from in the morning for our day of white water rafting. The rafting guide looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes as if to say, "is she serious?" I just smiled and nodded. Pretty stunning. I am not sure how much college is going to help.

[Ben E Lou]

I would just like to add that the same young lady in question is the one who was deeply confused when she learned that we were not getting off our raft at the same place that we launched from in the morning for our day of white water rafting. The rafting guide looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes as if to say, "is she serious?" I just smiled and nodded. Pretty stunning. I am not sure how much college is going to help.Heh. I hadn't told 'em that story, honey. :p

[JonInMiddleGA]

Heh. I hadn't told 'em that story, honey. :p

Saving it for the book?
:D

(Seriously, between the book about your job & the book about my job, we could make a mint ... except that everybody would insist that we had to be making this stuff up 'cause it couldn't really happen)

[Apathetic Lurker]

We try to give as "first-class" of a look as possible when kids arrive at camp. A bare mattress isn't nearly as appealing as a made-up bunk, done with hospital corners, with a blanket neatly folded at the foot of the bed. It makes a *much* better first impression. We want kids to know that we believe that they're very special in God's eyes, and that's one of many little things we do to attempt to communicate that truth.


Ah, I see now. A SISSY camp.

[Ben E Lou]

Saving it for the book?
:D

(Seriously, between the book about your job & the book about my job, we could make a mint ... except that everybody would insist that we had to be making this stuff up 'cause it couldn't really happen)I've got some doozies, that is for sure. Put about 5 or 6 youth ministry veterans in the room together and let them tell stories, and your sides will be hurting very quickly.