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25 Problems

Operation Sports writer and resident Madden skeptic Jayson Young was asked to write an article on his beefs with the franchise, mainly because we believe in getting every side of the story here at OS.

What I didn't expect is to get a well written song sent back to me by Jayson detailing his feelings on the Madden franchise at this time. If you are a Madden skeptic, you might find some solace in his words...

 

25 Problems

Yeah, last year a lot of sports gamers asked me
Why I didn't like Madden NFL 13

But this year I went up to New York and got Ice-T
From Law & Order: SVU to write a column

Yeah, Ice and I are going to answer the question about Madden problems
All these sports gamers are having Madden problems

Ice, tell it, man, tell them
Let me tell you what time it is

I got a baseball game from the East
Got a baseball game from the West
Got a baseball game with bobbleheads and Japanese text

I got a hockey game from the North
A hockey game from the South
A hockey game with hits you so hard you'll bleed from the mouth

I got boxing games with dreads
Soccer games with buns
An octagon with fights
A golf course with none

A hoops game with graphics sharper than your T.V. set
And there's a hoops game on your PC
Hey, the one I'm gonna get

But you, maybe not, 2K might not be your thing though
No sweat to a vet, you can grab Live this fall though
Word
I play the whole sports herd
I buy 'em all and keep them like a nerd

I got racers who think, who drive a fat gold tank
Racing games with every feature but the kitchen sink

Got a football game called Blitz, a football game from the past
A football game with none, but hey, I give it a pass
And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay in my PS3
So if you're having sports gaming problems, I feel bad for you, son,
I got 25 problems and Madden ain't one, hit it
Nah, Madden ain't one

I got sports games that are old, sports games that are new
Sports games from '91, sports game from 2002
I got cartridges that are fat, cartridges that were built
Cartridges so worn their labels look like powdered milk
I got announcers that are funny, announcers that ain't
Soundtracks that sing, soundtracks that stink
Sports games that came from Japan on an airplane
I even got sports games off of eBay
I got a game where you can score a tricked-out Benz
Long ends
I got a game with physics that are broke as a bum
But it's the most fun
I got a game that plays sim, a game that don't
A game that goes online, a game that won't
A game that's short, a game that's long
A game that burned my 360 with the three red prongs

And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay in my Xbox 360
So if you're having sports gaming problems, I feel bad for you, son,
I got 25 problems and Madden ain't one, hit me

Yo, Ice-T, you're from New Jersey, man, why don't you show
These sports gamers all the over the world the Operation Sports style
Why these Madden games can't satisfy a hardcore sports fan like you

I got 25 problems and Madden ain't one of them
I don't trip on weak sports games, 'cause I don't need one of them
NFL's the temptation, $60's the persuasion
All fans got that itch, but how do you scratch it?
That's why I don't buy 'em
I just rent 'em
Stick the disc in the tray, play around and return it
The Redbox, the one-nighter, the pigskin exciter
I'll only buy Madden if EA Tiburon retires

Peter Moore ain't getting my money
I'd rather keep my green than give him $120
I learned to expect nothing cause Tiburon ain't offering
a product that goes hard, just one that's been softening
I'm putting demand on 'em, starving 'em and scramming on 'em
The "no thank you, ma'am" game is annually ran on 'em
So forget how you feel, Madden's just a cheap thrill
Winning takes no skill when you can drive the whole field
Getting yards is just a minor expense
If read option pays the bills then curls pay the rent
I only need a hot route for one thing and that's to slant
I've got 25 problems and Madden ain't one, hah!

Yo, Ice-T, you cheeser, you got problems man?
Madden ain't one
Aww snap!
Let me tell you how to spit this

I got a console that starts with G
It yells “SEGA!” after you turn on the screen
I got a Sega that plays CDs
I got a Sega that's handheld and portable
I got a PC that's fast, a PC that's slow
A laptop that's cheap, and a tower that cost some dough
An XBone built on lies, A PS4 that's true
A Wii that waggles, and a tablet called Wii U
I got a 360 that's cool, a 360 that's hot
A PS3 that's fat, a PS3 that's not
A Dreamcast that's lost, and one I know where it's at
I put a game in it and it purrs like a cat
I got a PS2 that runs, I got a PS1 that sparks
I got a SNES that's yellow, I got a NES that's boxed
I got discs that are dirty, got discs that are neat
I got an OG Xbox that I got in a swap meet

And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back, that's why they stay with me
So if you're having sports gaming problems, I feel bad for you, son,
I got 25 problems and Madden ain't one, hit me
No, Madden ain't one
Huh, you know Madden ain't one

You know what I'm saying? I got problems with my monthly rent, Ice-T,
But Madden ain't one

Man, you got yourself nothing, man
Forget these raggedy, broken-down sports games
Madden ain't one

I got problems staying out here at game stores
With these cashiers trying to get my preorder, you know?
But Madden ain't one

Got problems with gamers not buying All-Pro Football 2K8
But Madden ain't one

Forget 'em all, sports fans, forget these Madden games
You know what I'm saying?
Madden ain't one

I got problems, man,
All those Maddenites can kiss my copy of NFL 2K5
For real

Really, gamers worrying about Madden?
They better find something else to worry about

 


This is meant to be a fun article about one gamer's feelings on the Madden franchise and how he handles it. Do you relate to Jayson's feelings?


Madden NFL 25 Videos
Member Comments
# 1 Introvese @ 09/10/13 11:33 AM
Wtf. Funny stuff here
 
# 2 Bryzine21 @ 09/10/13 11:33 AM
I haven't cared for the last 2 Maddens. I liked '12. Hoping the next gen is good.
 
# 3 frankwyte81 @ 09/10/13 12:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryzine21
I haven't cared for the last 2 Maddens. I liked '12. Hoping the next gen is good.
I hope the next gen Madden is good too. But I'm not holding my breath. If Madden 25 is built on the same foundation as current gen Madden 25 with shiny graphics, I'll pass on that release. This game needs a reboot. I'm hoping the next gen version is impressive.
 
# 4 videlsports @ 09/10/13 12:28 PM
Go ahead Jayson I feel ya
 
# 5 legacyme3 @ 09/10/13 01:11 PM
Haven't bought a Madden since 2011, and that was my first since like 2004.

I might buy Madden 2018. Might.
 
# 6 stefangrey @ 09/10/13 01:28 PM
Hipster football game fans crying again. Always good for a laugh. 2K5 killed itself because it couldn't compete on an even playing field, so it cut it's price, and the NFL would not allow one of it's games to be marketed as a budget (read: crap) title).

I bought that 2K5 because it was cheap. Played it for about 10 minutes. Hated the play calling screen, hated the catch button, hated the commentary. The half time show was a neat thing, but after the first couple of times I skipped it (i do the same with NCAA 14's). Went back to having fun with madden, like the majority of football fans.
 
# 7 BigBuzz5 @ 09/10/13 01:29 PM
This is exactly how I feel. Madden is not getting my money until I see vast improvement when they show next-generation. And what they showed at E3 is unacceptable, so I hope they go back to the drawing board and start from scratch. It would be best for everyone if Madden would delay their November release date.
 
# 8 noshun @ 09/10/13 02:00 PM
Oh snap, Ice-T is a writer on OS...
 
# 9 tril @ 09/10/13 02:39 PM
Madden is built for kids and casuals, that's why the game has been stripped down.
Fun game at times, plays a gem of a football game every once in a while, but for the most part is frustrating, har to tolerate and easy to quit and forget.
 
# 10 FrostyForeigner @ 09/11/13 06:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stefangrey
Hipster football game fans crying again. Always good for a laugh. 2K5 killed itself because it couldn't compete on an even playing field, so it cut it's price, and the NFL would not allow one of it's games to be marketed as a budget (read: crap) title).

I bought that 2K5 because it was cheap. Played it for about 10 minutes. Hated the play calling screen, hated the catch button, hated the commentary. The half time show was a neat thing, but after the first couple of times I skipped it (i do the same with NCAA 14's). Went back to having fun with madden, like the majority of football fans.
I can't believe people like you exist. You clearly know a lot lmao.
 
# 11 elgreazy1 @ 09/11/13 08:28 AM
Really wish this article had actually been insightful. Eh well.
 
# 12 sportsgamer34 @ 09/12/13 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stefangrey
Hipster football game fans crying again. Always good for a laugh. 2K5 killed itself because it couldn't compete on an even playing field, so it cut it's price, and the NFL would not allow one of it's games to be marketed as a budget (read: crap) title).

I bought that 2K5 because it was cheap. Played it for about 10 minutes. Hated the play calling screen, hated the catch button, hated the commentary. The half time show was a neat thing, but after the first couple of times I skipped it (i do the same with NCAA 14's). Went back to having fun with madden, like the majority of football fans.
What was wrong with the play calling system? and the catch button? But on a serious note you are going to talk about the commentary when madden's commentary is so blah blah blah boring every single year. In the words of Chris Berman "C'MON MAN"
 
# 13 DerekHupp @ 09/17/13 04:47 PM
bells and whistles are all that matters.
active sidelines (that actually get annoying after awhile)
blinking eyelids (does anyone actually care?)
presentation (that gets stale by the 3rd time, and who cares anyway)

while the menus navigate slower than windows95,
restrictive (cant even edit a players height or weight)
penalties that do not work (have they ever?)
ratings that are so bloated that there really isnt much difference in the best player vs the average ones
a scheme system that doesnt even work and only wastes time and space

they havnt even fixed the disappearing players bug in play now or cfm
did they ever fix the salary cap glitch in last years ccm?

you dont even get to see combine times in cfm,
if i want to pull an Al Davis and not scout anyone and just draft the fastest player available i should be able to...
what ever happened to IF ITS IN THE GAME, ITS IN THE GAME?!!!

COM'N MAN!
 

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